by Raven Lebeau

Created on: March 20, 2009   Last Updated: February 06, 2010

Age takes its toll on all of us, making daily tasks more difficult, and asking for help never gets easier. Helping an aging parent requires striking a careful balance between meeting that person's physical needs and allowing him or her to maintain a sense of independence. Here are a few ideas for assisting your aging parents without causing them to lose dignity:

1. Look for transportation services.

Being able to get on a bus and run errands alone is much preferable to asking others for rides. Find out if there is a bus system in your parent's neighborhood that will take elderly people to places like the grocery store or the doctor's office. If there is no such service available, then be discreet about offering rides. Mention that you are going somewhere and ask if your parent would like to ride along or offer to pick up something at the store since “you'll be there anyway”. Accepting your help will be easier if your parent does not feel that you are going out of your way.

2. Find empowering devices.

A person who needs an aid such as an electric jar opener, a raised toilet seat, or a walker might be too proud to purchase one. However, things like these can actually make elderly people more self-reliant. Observe your parents carefully and find out what kind of help they need. Purchase these items as gifts.

3. Help optimize the home for mobility.

An older person may have trouble navigating a home filled with clutter. Things like electrical cords and throw rugs can be difficult to step over and create a tripping hazard. Help your parent clear the floors and make sure he or she can navigate around furniture and decorations. Move important items like food and dishes so that they can be reached without a stepladder.

4. Inspect the home and make sure that it is well-maintained.

People in poor health should not attempt home repairs or yard work. Be proactive about inspecting your parent's home and help fix problems as they occur. If necessary, hire a contractor. Find a neighbor willing to help with yard work or hire a lawn service. By taking a proactive approach, you ensure that your parent does not experience the embarrassment of needing to ask for help.

5. Make sure your parent still has fun.

Age not only robs us of our ability to do things like mow the lawn or shovel the driveway; it makes it harder to do recreational activities, too. If your parent was a physically active person who enjoyed activities like sports or woodworking, then he or she may be depressed about not being able to do these things as much. As people lose their eyesight or develop arthritis, even more sedentary activities like needlework and reading become a challenge.

Help your parent stay as physically active as possible by encouraging him or her to walk through the neighborhood or go on a sightseeing tour of the town. If your parent still has good eyesight, try to get him or her interested in a book or television show. Try purchasing audio books for a parent whose eyesight will no longer allow for reading.

6. Help your parent feel valued.

The knowledge that one is needed is also an important part of mental health. Be sure to ask your parent for ideas and advice and to listen to his or her opinions, even if you privately disagree. If possible find appropriate volunteer opportunities for an elderly person.

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