by Nicole Cook

Created on: March 20, 2009

The title of this article topic asks, "how far should you push your children to succeed", and I find fault with the title itself. We should never push our children to succeed, we should encourage them to succeed. When you push something, more often than not it will fall, and having your child fall from whatever standard you have placed on them can be detrimental to that child's confidence, character and outlook on life. Too many times we have heard of young children with behavioral problems, emotional problems, and mental health problems. These problems can be in many cases be aggravated by if not rooted in the undue pressure placed upon them to succeed. By pushing our children we are in a sense showing them they are not good enough, or do not meet the standards we expect from them. This can discourage even the most confident child to excel in life. Showing your children that you support their present accomplishments while encouraging them to expand their knowledge and branch out to learn about a variety of subjects can help to form a more well rounded individual.

The competitive streak begins earlier and earlier in our children's lives. Have you ever been to a tee ball game or a little league game? Have you seen the rage and obsession that displays itself clearly on the faces of some parents while watching their child play? Do you think that child is actually enjoying the game? No. That child is under a great pressure from his or her parent to do "better" than the other children. There is such a thing as constructive criticism and many children no longer get this from their parents. Instead of telling a child what they did wrong, encourage them on how they can do better next time.

Of course children also need to know that there is no such thing as a free ride in life and just like the majority of the people in this world, they will have to work hard to succeed at whatever they do in life. Instilling values, giving your child encouragement and unconditional approval with only one minor requirement "as long as they try their best", can help your child see the possibilities in their live instead of harping on their failures.

In closing, it is not a matter of how far you should push your child to succeed rather encouraging your child to reach beyond their potential and succeed at whatever they do. Though it may sound like a cliche, children truly are like flowers; you plant a seed, care for it, love it and encourage it to grow at its own pace. You wouldn't tell a flower that it was growing all wrong now would you?

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