by Pamela Okoro

Created on: March 20, 2009   Last Updated: June 22, 2009

Working in today's office environment requires learning both verbal and non-verbal communication skills. Advances from a boss usually start non-verbally. And that is the best time to nip it in the bud. Female bosses also make advances, so wherever the pronoun 'he' is used; 'she' can apply, and vice versa.

Non- Verbal Hints:

He seems to like calling you into his office: Always forget the door open and always stand at the other end of the desk.

Avoid eye contact- it's a non-verbal communication channel and people generally read what they want, so even giving him the evil eye might not work, he might be feeling very amorous and interpret it as a come hither glance.

He sometimes makes jokes with sexual connotations: Do your best NOT to laugh, even if it IS very funny. If he is looking at you expecting a response give a plastic one-second smile. Like 'Yeah, right.'

He offers you lunch: Even if your tummy just rumbled- you just ate.

He tries to keep you late: Whine under your breadth about the big appointment/date you're keeping waiting. Look unhappy most of the time, even if you're not.

Do not be too helpful, do not offer personal help, do not help out with the kids or groceries or a gift for his wife if you are not comfortable with his behaviour towards you- those are booby traps.

Parade your significant other's picture around (be he boyfriend or husband). If its getting a bit much orchestrate a chance meeting when your guy's looking fly and your boss can see he's got a real challenge on his hands. If you don't have a guy- borrow a friend.

DO NOT jump the gun; if your boss has not made an express advance, act like you have not noticed the implied ones. You would look very silly making a long winded speech on how you are touched but not interested and at the end he says, "But I never said I was interested in you before." Sometimes, your boss could just be a natural flirt. Sometimes.

Verbal hints:

If despite all your initial non-verbal blocks he has decided to go for broke and has made a verbal advance towards you You are in a tight corner but don't let it show.

Simply look him in the eye and tell him how you feel about his advance. Please be clear and explain that it is not that he is not a nice person, but you have no feelings for him, you have a boyfriend that you are seeing (You might be lying. In the interest of your job, this lie can be considered as very necessary).

DO NOT tell him you feel it will affect the job; he has probably dated other ladies and he's still working in the company, most times it is the subordinate that is affected negatively, not the boss.

Actions:

If for some crazy reason he jumps you; fight like mad! Then when he reels back in shock you say "Oh! Sir it's you! I didn't know. Why did you scare me so? I could have really hurt you! Please don't do that again. I thought you were a burglar!" He'll think twice before jumping again. And he might devise a harder tactic, so learn to avoid him better.

Could refusal cost you your job? Maybe. Apply foresight and get your CV out at the first sign of this problem. You can never tell what great opportunity is waiting right around the corner.

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