by Colette Duval

Created on: March 20, 2009   Last Updated: May 15, 2009

Bullying can take on many forms, it may be done overtly or taken to new heights of subtlety. It can be done in front of others or in situations with no witnesses around. It can be done by people who are known to be bullies, or by people who are generally well liked and respected, yet can display a mean streak which they manage to keep from view.

Either way, being at the receiving end of someone's bullying tactics can have damaging effects in a variety of ways. No amount of bullying is justified, yet a prolonged period can seriously harm one's confidence and mental health.

How do you know you are being bullied ? How do you distinguish between overreacting and justifiably being upset? How do you know your confidence is being eroded by targeted attacks or by putting yourself down for feeling victimized?

While awareness of the problem has been heightened in recent years, it has also become a term at times overused, so that even "normal" forms of confrontation between people, especially "normal social behaviour" among children who are still learning to negotiate their social selves are labelled "bullying". Perhaps there is a growing oversensitivity at work when one feels too easily offended or does not understand that certain forms of teasing are not always meant in a cruel manner but can be said lightheartedly or even affectionately.

However, there are certain signs that bullying is at work when your normal functioning is affected by it: your confidence takes a dive, your concentration is affected, you are becoming tearful and fearful of certain situations and their unpredictability. This is difficult at the best of times, but more so if you cannot remove yourself from those situations.

Imagine being stuck in an office cubicle tied to your computer , and being subjected to malicious teasing, ridiculing, belittling and dismissive behaviour by your boss or colleague. You may want to shout , scream or cry in frustration, but having no personal space to do this in just increases stress.

The first thing you should do is become very clear in your own mind that it is not your fault and that the problem lies with the perpetrator whose motives for bullying you can be personal issues, work related stress and pressures or other issues that are in no way linked to you personally. That is no justification for this kind of behaviour, though, and you have the absolute right to being treated with respect and decency at all times. It doesn't matter whether you make

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