by Andrea D. Hutchinson

Created on: March 20, 2009   Last Updated: April 09, 2009

"Am I my brother's keeper?" Is it my job to interfere with the life of my friend? The answer should not be a gray area. However, it has come to that.

Turning a blind eye, or justifying the poor behavior of others has become the tragic response to the unhealthy relationships we encounter around us. "It is none of my business", "I wouldn't tolerate someone telling me how to live my life" and more, have been the excuses often used. Somehow we have become uncomfortable about addressing what concerns us in a friend's life.

The word unhealthy, while accurate, is a watered down description of what is actually abusive. Unfortunately, either we know someone or we, ourselves, have had a relationship that was unhealthy.

Am I my brother's keeper? The answer is yes. Like the scripture goes on to exclaim; "What have you done? Listen! Your brother's (sister's) blood cries out from the ground." Turning away when a friend is in an unhealthy relationship may eventually have tragic results. The mildest would be the end of your friendship. The tragic most would prefer not to think about. With many degrees of severity in between.

When you look back on the situation will your heart be crying out "What did you do?" or worse, "Why didn't I do something?"

John says, in his book, "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends."

There are agencies now that advocate for those in unhealthy or abusive relationships, for two reasons. One, the friend trapped in the unhealthy relationship has become isolated and no longer hears the warnings of others. And two, the others, friends and family alike, no longer get involved. We have come to a place where we first consider what it means to us personally, before we step up. Thinking about the consequences to self before we "interfere" in what we consider our friend's personal business.

What if she doesn't want to be my friend anymore? In the isolation of an article, sans a real challenge to your friendship, the question reveals our selfishness. If this isn't bad enough, we are told by professionals and those in authority, that we have no right to interfere in another's personal life. After all who are we to judge?

Genuine concern, caring, inquiry and extending ourselves in aid to a friend is not judgment. After all we would be happy to be proven wrong in a situation where our friend is in possible danger. A true friend will risk all, if it means a friend's well being. That is one of the things John meant in verse 13 of chapter

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