by Christine G.

Created on: March 20, 2009   Last Updated: May 08, 2009

How do you explain to your child that his hero has clay feet?

Some things, not even the best parents can do. They can only be present to support the child in his journey.

This is a time to listen rather than talk. This is a time to ask, "What do you think?" and accept the answer without judging it.

This is a time to answer questions simply, in an age-appropriate manner. No monologues, lectures, or rants. Just the facts.

This is a time to sit together side by side, to acknowledge that sometimes life sucks. People will deceive you, pretend to be something they are not. They will take your admiration and throw it in the gutter, leaving you wondering whom you can trust.

What happened is wrong. A lot of people will have to pay the price for what happened.. A promising career might be shattered, a family torn apart, a star wrenched out of orbit. Loyal fans will be disillusioned. Some of them will become more bitter and cynical. Others will grow in compassion.

People make mistakes. Sometimes they are serious, life-changing mistakes. Perhaps the pressure was just too great to withstand. Perhaps lack of self-respect led to moral bankruptcy. Perhaps winning seemed more important than doing what was right. Whatever the reason, people who use illegal drugs are still people. They still need love and support, even if there is no excuse for what they have done.

This is a time to tell the truth. If your child asks, "Have you ever done anything like that?" answer honestly. It is not necessary to go into details, but owning the truth of your own fallibility will serve you better than pretense and denial. If your child confesses to similar impulses or actions, this is a time to offer acceptance and solidarity without condoning wrongdoing

This is a time to discuss accountability. We are all responsible for our actions. We may be able to hide for a time, but sooner or later, we must face the consequences of what we have done. Even if we are never caught, we will always know what happened, and we will be stuck with the person we have become.

This is a time to talk about forgiveness, restitution, and new beginnings. A time to talk about how difficult it can be to come back from a set-back. Difficult, but not impossible. If there is hope for a fallen star, there is hope for each one of us.

This is a time to look ahead. What we do with our hurt and disappointment is up to each one of us. Learning from the mistakes of others can save us from having to learn from our own.

This is a time to believe that this is not the end of the story. The rising sun will light up the sky, announcing a new day. There will be new heroes. The fact that none of them are perfect will make their victories all the more satisfying.

This is a time to be there for each other, to grow closer and stronger, to renew your commitment to a better world

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