AN OPEN LETTER TO CHRISTIAN HYPOCRITES
There has been a recent uproar as I write this over an article that Newsweek published regarding the Bible and its support of gay marriage. Yeah, I said support. As you can imagine, many Christians are very upset about this, because apparently they thought that their complete and utter ignorance in this matter would never be challenged. They thought that they would go on forever living in this blissful stupidity and hate cloud that they created, based on a gross misinterpretation and general willing blindness.
This is just one area in which hypocrisy runs rampant in Christianity. There are so many areas where this hypocrisy is prevalent that I can't possibly even begin to try to address all of these areas. I'm only going to do it in a few areas, because that's all the energy I have, and because pointing out all areas in which they are hypocrites would probably make me have a stroke. But before I begin, let me emphasize that when I speak about Christians here, I am not talking about what I like to call "Jimmy Carter Christians." I'm talking about the followers that distort the religion until it has no goodness left.
I might as well begin with the gay marriage debate thing since it's getting so much attention at the moment. My understanding is that many Christians are using Leviticus 18:22 as their basis for being against gays and therefore gay marriage. It says something along the lines of a man lying with another man is an abomination.
There are many reasons why I find it interesting that they choose this single line. The first is that it is in Leviticus, which is in the Old Testament, which is really the Jewish Torah. This is interesting because they are using the line and they are Christians. Last time I checked "Christ-ians" means follower of Christ. Um, I hate to tell them this, but Christ is not in the Old Testament.
And, uh, also- it's not your book to interpret. Do you see Jewish rabbis picking lines out of the New Testament and interpreting them? No, you don't. And if you did, you would have a major hissy fit because you Christians like to have hissy fits about a lot of things. And I can see a Jew interpreting the New Testament sending them right over the edge.
Yet another reason why this is interesting is because not so many lines later, Leviticus also says that if you wear wool and cotton on the same day, that this is also an abomination. Or if you don't burn a turtle dove after your menstrual period every month to cleanse yourself. It surprises me that the Christians don't know this one- didn't you read your Bible? Geez. Also, I like how they picked out just the line about gays and just completely ignored all of the other laws that Leviticus tells the people to follow. Apparently, all the other laws are outdated, but not that one. That one they want to keep.
Finally, it is interesting because of all the wonderful things that the Bible tells us, the one that Jesus mentions most often is love. He's a loving kind of guy. He wanted us to love our enemies, love our neighbors, love the sick and the poor and the weak and everyone else that you can think of-but not gays. Nope- I distinctly remember Jesus saying "Love thy neighbor, but not the gays." I'm glad He pointed that out for us because I would have been lost had he not mentioned gays specifically.
There are also issues like the "sanctity of marriage" between a man and a woman, and the fact that these Christians somehow think that two gay parents are really evil. First, sanctity of marriage? A lot of you Christians can't even keep your you-know-whats in your pants so don't even start with that. The "holiness" of marriage in the Bible meant polygamy, too, by the way. And in Mark Foley's case, it means trying to have affairs with pubescent boys. So which kind of "sanctity" are we talking about here, exactly? Because as far as I can see, you have different definitions of marriage yourselves. Why don't you worry about the prevalence of adultery and other problems within heterosexual marriage first?
And as far as what they laughingly call in this modern day the "traditional family unit", this is a joke. Two good parents are two good parents, regardless of sexual orientation. This is equivalent to saying that a person could not be a good parent or have a healthy household because of differing ethnicities within the household. It's just beyond ridiculous. Once again, the focus should instead be on helping alcoholic or abusive parents, neglectful parents, or any other shitty kind of parent that exists become better parents.
Christians seem to think that being gay is also a choice that people make. There is a major flaw in this logic, if you can call it that. That flaw is that, assuming that gays made a choice to be gay, that would also mean that all of us heterosexuals made a choice to be straight. And the problem with that is that none of us can remember when we made a choice to be straight- we just were! And if you have even the smallest amount of common sense, this would mean that gays don't remember making the decision to be gay either. Another issue that this brings to light is that Christians who say this obviously have never known or been friends with any gay people. They're probably happy about this, but really it's their loss and yet another way in which they are stupid. Because if they did know anyone that was gay, they would know that they have always been this way, since they were children.
Christians also think that they can "pray away the gay" in some cases and get them to "repent". I find this extra hilarious; since I can no more pray away my brown hair. I'll make a deal- when these Christians can pray away their assholeness, then we can talk about praying away the gay.
I have two things to say to these people that believe the things I have described. The first thing is, go read 1 John 4:20, and let it stew in your tiny, tiny brain for a little while. The second is, when you people stop wearing wool and cotton on the same day, and Christian women start burning turtle doves after they menstruate (which would be hilarious except for the bird burning), then maybe I'll stop pointing out what lying, seething hypocrites you all are.
The second reason that Christians are hypocrites is because of their support of the Republican Party. This is not to say that I think they should support the Democratic Party, either. They don't want em. I just don't think they should have enough weight in the public arena to be able to throw it behind any political candidate. Doesn't the Bible say "Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God what is God's"? Man, you people need to read your Bible's, this is the second time I've caught you skipping parts.
But it's not even in the Bible; it's also in our Constitution, which says there should be a separation of church and state. And I know that you like to argue this, but the fact is that Thomas Jefferson and James Monroe were deists that hated organized religion, especially yours because ofwhat else? The hypocrisy of it! Read a real history book that isn't written by a "Christian scholar" (which I think is an oxymoron) and you get a gold star.
I don't like this support of certain candidates, because when they throw their numbers behind candidates, we end up with people like George Dubya and Sarah Palin. This is crappy for the rest of us, not to mention scary. They make public policy based on religion. This is wrong. Why? Because we have something in this country called individual freedoms and liberties. We are allowed to practice whatever faith we want to, remember? Laws based only on Christian beliefs would be a theocracy, and weird state-sponsored religion shit. Like China or Iran. If you like that, then by all means go to China or Iran. I will not stop you from booking the one way ticket and in fact, I might even pay for it.
But it's also at the zenith of hypocrisy because Republicans, since cowboy/actor Reagan, have believed in something called "trickle-down economics". The theory behind this is that if we as a country give tax cuts to the wealthiest Americans, it will trickle down to the poorest Americans. I think we have (hopefully) finally learned our lesson with the recent economic crisis under Bushie Jr. that this doesn't work, and really never did. But the reason it's hypocritical is because Jesus mentions the poor more than anything in the Bible (by the way this is the third instance where I've caught you not reading and/or not paying attention to the Bible). Now I don't know if Christians don't realize this, because they're too busy paying attention to the Republican candidate because he promises not to allow gay marriage or what, but either way, they are supporting the candidate who historically, has done the least for the poor. In fact, some of you might be poor, but you're still supporting these Republicans because they are conservative on moral issues. Which I know is important because gays' not being allowed to marry is what puts food on your table and pays your bills. "Hey look Barb, they passed a law banning gay marriage- we can finally get our house out of foreclosure!" In this case, you don't have to look at your "WWJD?" bracelet to know that you're behind the wrong dude.
You are all also a hypocrite because you follow some serious false prophets, and also claim to know God's will, which I thought was a big boo-boo. I've even heard that some of you actually pray for money, too, which is a real doozie, and is really impossible to justify, but I'm sure you do somehow. Oh, and the Bible says that no man can claim to know God's will. So if you're keeping track, we are now up to the fourth instance in which you are not reading your Bible.
The false prophet thing is really getting out of control. Where does it end? You have people like Jerry Falwell (now deceased, so that's one less), Pat Robertson, Rick Warren, Oral Roberts, John Hagee, Rod Parsley, Harold Camping.the list goes on and on. Among these prophets or whatever you want to call them (I call them something more harsh), they have blamed the pagans and gays for 9-11 and Hurricane Katrina, called the Catholic church "the great whore", called liberals and those who voted for John Kerry or Barack Obama "sinners" who will be sent to hell, and urged wives to stay with abusive husbands because "it is Jesus' will" and because "Jesus suffered for you like you are now suffering." I can't even really attribute those quotes to any one of them in particular, because they all might have said all of these things at some point. It's like musical ministers.
In all seriousness, this is really and truly disgusting. Not only are these men, who claim to be preaching the gospel of Jesus, the lowest form of human life, but they all made or continue to make piles of money for spewing rotten, hateful garbage out of their mouths about all kinds of people that are different than they are. They have bestselling books, ministries with millions of followers, and television or radio shows or both. It's unbelievable to think that these people actually have followers, but it's true. They make a living out of being extremists who hate people. And as if this wasn't bad enough, they claim to know what God thinks, and what he does and why. Apparently they have his whole itinerary for the year and claim to be His personal assistant and confidante. The fact that Christians listen to these false prophets who really could not be further from God's message if they tried, and give them their hard-earned money, is really disappointing, and very, very sad. That's all I really have to say about that. Sometimes, you just see a level of disgustingness in humanity that leaves you speechless. So I need to move on to the next reason for hypocrisy.
The next reason is pretty broad, but worth noting. It's judgment. The judgments of all people that in your view are "bad" are "sinful". Jesus said "Judge not lest ye be judged" and there was that whole thing about casting the first stone, too. By the way, this is the fifth instance in which you are not heeding the messages of your Bible. Tsk, tsk.
I've seen and/or heard some Christian's judge and/or criticize people in some way for any of the following (and this is no joke): being black or dark-skinned, being Mexican, being poor, being black or Mexican and poor, being black or Mexican and taking away their jobs, being divorced, wanting a divorce, being liberal, voting for a liberal or independent candidate, not going to church, going to the wrong church, being Muslim, being Buddhist, being Catholic, being gay, being Jewish, being any religion besides Christian, being gay, being on birth control, having premarital sex, listening to rock music, listening to rap music, listening to any music, going to rock concerts, watching violent movies, watching movies that have sex scenes, watching The DaVinci Code or The Golden Compass, watching movies at all, watching television shows with bad language, watching Seinfeld, watching television at all, reading books by foreigners, reading any books not written by a minister or are not "The Silmarillion", reading any books that are not the Bible, smoking cigarettes, smoking pot, smoking pole, subscribing to Maxim, not subscribing to Right to Life publications, liking the Pope and going to Mass, believing in fossils and carbon-dating, reading your horoscope, having tattoos, marrying interracially, playing violent video games, playing any video games, living in or liking to visit San Francisco, Harlem, or New York City, and blue states. I'm sure I'm missing quite a bit, but that's just what I can remember at the moment.
Once again, I'm kind of at a loss for words. I can't claim to know what Jesus thinks, but I know what He said, and like Ricky used to say to Lucy- you gotta lotta splainin to do.
Okay, this is all I can do now because my energy has been spent. It takes a lot of energy to write about this stuff because my blood pressure skyrockets and I reach a level of pissed off that exceeds the capabilities of the human brain to process. Or, it could also be that after writing these things, and trying to think like these Christians, my brain starts to get a little bit mushy like theirs and I stare off into space and drool a little and I want to take a nap all of a sudden. Or it could be that it makes me literally nauseous to discuss and think about this incredible level of ignorance.
And I haven't even gotten to talk about the fear that causes them to believe these crazy things instead of doing what the Bible tells them they should be doing.