by Krystle Hernandez

Created on: March 19, 2009

When beginning a new relationship, individuals can often become blinded by romance. Becoming swept away in a romantic, passionate, or lustful moment can frequently blur an individual's vision, causing them to feel that they are "in love" with another person. Countless studies have been conducted in an attempt to find a physical (or at least scientific) reason as to why, how, and with who people fall in love. Unfortunately, as time passes and two people become more aware of each other's strengths and weaknesses, one partner may attempt to modify the other's behavior. This, however, leaves us to wonder why people want to change the person that they love?

There are many reasons why people would want to change the person that they love. But, before we begin to explore these numerous reasons, it is important that we take a moment to define "love." Regrettably, it appears that many people who claim to be "in love" are not in love at all. Further, there are some people who feel that they are "in love" but are still unsure as to how they can be certain they will continue to love a partner?

Individuals are constantly changing and this does not change when a person is in a relationship. Ideally, two people will grow and change individually, but still remain capable (and willing) to maintain their relationship. Of course, this is not always the case. Many individuals are initially taken aback if his or her partner undergoes a change. For example, a husband may become irritated with a wife if she begins to spend more time going out with her girlfriends than with him. As a result, he may want to change her behavior.

After spending more and more time with one another, a couple will typically make requests concerning smaller, seemingly insignificant (in the grand scheme of things) changes. For example, a wife may ask her husband to "change" his ways by taking off his shoes before coming into a room in order to avoid ruining the carpet. When we are in relationships, we negotiate these little aspects of our lives with our partners so that peace is maintained. But these "little" changes are truly trivial. In many relationships, people want to REALLY change the person they love.

The way I see it, there are two kinds of major changes that people in relationships attempt to get their partners to make. The first kind of major change is a "positive change." For example, if a wife really wants her husband to quit smoking or kick an addiction (particularly one that he developed over the

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