by Nicole Cook

Created on: March 19, 2009   Last Updated: March 20, 2009

The decision to move your elderly parent into your home is not an easy one and is more often than not, the wrong one. We have a sense of duty in us that tells us that we need to be the ones to care for our parents when they are older and can no longer live on their own. We often think it would be considered cruel to allow our parents to be cared for by strangers. However undertaking our elderly parents care is often more than we can handle, and can place undue amounts of stress on our families as well as our relationships with our parents.

Once our parents reach an age when living alone is detrimental to their safety, they often need more care than we can provide. Caring for a parent with conditions such as Alzheimer's and dementia in your home can place your family at great risk as people with these conditions can unknowingly and unintentionally be a danger to themselves and the people around them. Forgetting to turn the stove off, or forgetting how to turn the stove off are just two of many very dangerous situations that can place your family's life in danger by moving your elderly parent into your home. However it is not always a bad idea to move your mother or father or both into your home.

There is support out there that can enable you to make this decision, and care for your elderly parent while not negatively affecting your own families lives. Visiting caretakers, nurses and aids can lighten the burden on you and your family tremendously. Talking with a qualified professional who can assess the needs of your parent and allow you to make an informed decision as to whether you can provide them with the amount of care they will need can be extremely helpful in your decision. How dependant will your parent be on you for everyday tasks is an important piece of information as well. There is no shame in seeking help for your parents care. If your parent is still very independent, you should take this into account as well and not assume the transition will be a smooth one.

Each family member must adjust to the addition of a new resident, as these things take time, patience, education, and acceptance. Senior day care is a great resource for elderly parents as it allows them to gain enrichment, socialize and still retain a sense of self outside of your home. Before making the decision to move your parent into your home, you should discuss the move with both your parents and your children and spouse, giving them the opportunity to voice any concerns, or feelings on the topic. Remember than many people are affecting by such a change, and the feelings of everyone involved should be taken into consideration before making any drastic moves.

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