by A. Stupay

Created on: January 27, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

Falling in love is not the problem guys. Trust me when I tell you that most women when they find something interesting about you are willing to try and make something work. Once they feel that initial spark they want to be with you, it's simply a matter of how much. I don't think you can really make the spark, but once you have it there are some things you can do to fan it in to a flame.

I know be yourself is not very helpful, so I would say be honest. We can tell when you are trying too hard. If you are trying to be tough or sensitive or just trying to be anything she will see it and wonder what you are really hiding. You are not on an interview, so just sit and talk with her. Let it be a give and take. Tell a few stories about your life and listen to hers. The more she gets to know you the more interested she will be because you are "opening up", so to speak.

As for that whole "opening up" thing. We know you guys get scared of that term but it needs to be clarified. We are not looking for that deep repressed memory from your childhood that made you who you are. We just want to know that there is a human being living in there. Tell us about your day, talk about your favorite things, talk about the town you grew up in... it doesn't really matter as long as you do it without us having to ask. Why is this so important to us? It's because we know we are seeing a side of you that most people don't. It shows that being in a relationship with you allows us into your life. If you never tell us anything that we can't find out from just being your friend then what is that point.

The real secret is that we want to know that we are special to you. Yeah, flowers are nice, but it's mostly because of what they represent and not what they are. The fact that you were thinking about her when she wasn't even around shows us that you do care. A phone call, a text, and email or any other communication from you just to let us know you are thinking about us... those are the kinds of things that make us feel connected to you.

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