Self management is about taking responsibility for every aspect of our life. Some take the easy (and expensive) route and hire a life coach. But by adopting a few behaviors and practices, we can be our own life coaches.
The Limits of Responsibility
Self responsibility has very clear limits. And it must be learned; not all of it comes automatically. First, a fully functioning human is charged with the responsibility of basic survival: food, clothing, shelter, personal safety. When these things are taken care of, the next ladder of responsibility involves emotional comfort and mental stability. After we have managed these significant aspects of our life, we are responsible for intellectual development, material gains and all the bonuses that bring us happiness. Being aware of our responsibilities is the first step in self management.
Basic Survival Needs
To provide for these basic needs of food, clothing, shelter and personal safety requires that we manage broad areas of our lives. A source of income is the usual route and at different times in our lives, we may depend on others (parents, spouse, significant other). However, we leave our parent's homes and marriages and relationships can fall apart. So the first step in self management is preparing ourselves for independence. We map our skills and interests and look toward training or education as the key to employment. If we are just beginning a career or changing a career, we must manage the acquisition of knowledge. In other words, we go through vocational training, on-the-job training or receive a college degree. We prepare ourselves for employment. Employment of some sort is essential if we are to provide for our basic needs as an independent human being.
Emotional Comfort and Mental Stability
Not surprisingly, these two areas are interlinked. If we are not mentally stable, we are likely in emotional distress. This is not covering severe psychological disorders such as schizophrenia. It's intended for those many nights of anxiety, concern and worry that travel with us into daylight and mar our happiness. Sometimes, though not always, we can manage our mental stability with the presence of a loving companion. Just as often, a companion may be the cause of our mental anguish. It's our task and responsibility to be aware of the source of happiness and to direct our lives in pursuit of this - and away from the sources of unhappiness.
Obviously, there are some things that are out of our control. So for example, we may have accomplished those basic needs. We have a home, a good job and a nice wardrobe. Then we go into work and learn all that will be changed in a few month's time because we have been dismissed or laid off from work.
Now, we shift into managing basic survival while maintaining mental stability and emotional balance. That's a lot for any individual to handle alone. Unfortunately, many of us are facing these multiple issues. Self management, indeed, self survival during these stressful periods calls for enlisting the help of others. Seek out assistance, whether it be social service agencies, service or church-based organizations, city or state employment centers or friends, neighbors, family and loved ones. Recognize when your plate is full - or to be more exact - when your plate is empty.
The Bonuses of Living
In the best of circumstances and in the worst of circumstances, we are capable of improving. When we "have it all" we branch out toward dreams that need fulfilling or those childhood ambitions. We begin checking off the old To Do lists. We manage our budget, plan for vacations abroad, a sailboat. Or we complete the novel we started years ago. We share our wealth. We give of our time and knowledge as a community volunteer. We are collecting those bonuses. And we are giving away as much as we receive.
Self Management is Self Responsibility
Self management occurs every day that we rise with breath on our lips. We take responsibility for our happiness and we develop ourselves to the fullest extent possible. This is no Pollyanna exercise. Even if we are facing the most dire circumstances, we are still in charge of governing our lives. In fact, we are the only person who is in control of our fate. We can either choose to accept the responsibility or not. We can manage our lives or let life manage us.