by Theresa Ann White

Created on: March 19, 2009

Self management is about taking responsibility for every aspect of our life. Some take the easy (and expensive) route and hire a life coach. But by adopting a few behaviors and practices, we can be our own life coaches.

The Limits of Responsibility

Self responsibility has very clear limits. And it must be learned; not all of it comes automatically. First, a fully functioning human is charged with the responsibility of basic survival: food, clothing, shelter, personal safety. When these things are taken care of, the next ladder of responsibility involves emotional comfort and mental stability. After we have managed these significant aspects of our life, we are responsible for intellectual development, material gains and all the bonuses that bring us happiness. Being aware of our responsibilities is the first step in self management.

Basic Survival Needs

To provide for these basic needs of food, clothing, shelter and personal safety requires that we manage broad areas of our lives. A source of income is the usual route and at different times in our lives, we may depend on others (parents, spouse, significant other). However, we leave our parent's homes and marriages and relationships can fall apart. So the first step in self management is preparing ourselves for independence. We map our skills and interests and look toward training or education as the key to employment. If we are just beginning a career or changing a career, we must manage the acquisition of knowledge. In other words, we go through vocational training, on-the-job training or receive a college degree. We prepare ourselves for employment. Employment of some sort is essential if we are to provide for our basic needs as an independent human being.

Emotional Comfort and Mental Stability

Not surprisingly, these two areas are interlinked. If we are not mentally stable, we are likely in emotional distress. This is not covering severe psychological disorders such as schizophrenia. It's intended for those many nights of anxiety, concern and worry that travel with us into daylight and mar our happiness. Sometimes, though not always, we can manage our mental stability with the presence of a loving companion. Just as often, a companion may be the cause of our mental anguish. It's our task and responsibility to be aware of the source of happiness and to direct our lives in pursuit of this - and away from the sources of unhappiness.

Obviously, there are some things that are out of our control. So for example, we may

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