by Miranda Miller-Smith

Created on: March 18, 2009   Last Updated: March 23, 2009

I never thought I would desire a family of my own. I have always loved my freedom and childless by choice lifestyle. My friends and family have stopped asking me when I would have a baby of my own. I always thought I just didn't have the mothering disposition.

Then came the day that I was late. My initially response was panic and fear. I adamantly did not want to be pregnant. I flipped out a little, considering just how much things were going to change with a baby in tow. After a week of being late and stressed my sweetie finally sat me down and told me how great of a mother I would be, how strong I am mentally, and how much lesser women have been through this same situation and prevailed. He wasn't happy but he was calm and rational. I had come to terms with things, I was okay. If having a baby was in my stars I would have to accept it and stand tall. I would not be defeated by such a natural part of life.

When the news came that I was in fact, not pregnant, my reaction was not at all what was expected. Instead of feeling happy and relieved, I felt empty, sad and deflated. I had already fallen in love with someone who was only a figment of my imagination. It dawned on me, that I really do want to have my own family. I want a child. I would be a good mother. I have seen and explored the world, I have indulged myself with adventures, risks and life lessons. I had taken the time in my youth to fulfill my own needs. Now I am ready to try a different part of life. I am ready to devote myself to the care, well being and development of another life.

My decision to have a child came about quickly and unexpectedly, but that doesn't mean I am in a hurry to fulfill my own dreams. I am going to be responsible and I am going to get my ducks in a row. When I am honest, there are many adventures I want to embark upon before I am a mommy. It is time for me to live my life and enjoy my first year of marriage before I begin reproducing.

I am glad I am in a situation where I am able to decide when to have a baby. No one is going to catch me by surprise and leave me feeling bitter or resentful, at an innocent life. I am going to be great to myself. In turn, I will be ready to try my hand at a selfless life, and then I will be ready to be a great mother.

In my opinion, the decision to start a family should not be taken lightly or rushed. Every human life is valuable, and an innocent baby deserves to be loved, respected and given a safe and nurturing home. If you have never given yourself time to live, then you are not ready to give the gift of life.

Learn more about this author, Miranda Miller-Smith.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.