Stepping outside of the box
Everywhere today you hear about, "Stepping outside of the box." "Thinking outside of the box." "Going outside of the box." Everyone from clubs to employers wants you to be an "Out of the box" thinker or doer. I think I was around 20 years old when I decided to "step out of the box" and become part vegetarian. I had always hated the mere sight of beef, chicken and pork on our dinner table. The feel and taste in my mouth was even worse; it was just plain nasty. So I embarked on a new journey; the announcement of which sent gasps of horror throughout my family tree.
"You need meat!" My Mother exclaimed. "You need the iron." "You'll die of anemia!" was my older sister's response. From a cousin as her eyes rolled sideways, "You'll regret that decision when you end up in the hospital!"
Still, with vegetarianism becoming more and more popular, it seemed like a good path for me. I could jump-start my journey with a plethora of culinary delights containing absolutely, no meat or meat by-products. There's soy ham, soy bologna, soy chicken, soy burger, soy hot dogs soy corn dogs and soy cheeses. But, I quickly discovered that some brands were quite delicious and others were almost as nasty tasting as the slimy chunks of fatty meat that I grew up hating.
There are many types of vegetarians and while I am still not a full-blown Vegetarian, I do eat fish, shellfish and dairy, I am much happier creating my own veggie dishes, soups and spreads without the nasty aftertaste of the meat or the heartburn, gas and other digestive and processing problems that salty meat can create. I've felt lighter, had more energy and so far, it's been a great ride.
After 30+ years of this lifestyle, I still get a lot of hassle. Not only from friends, but family, as well, especially the hunters who think that the only food in existence is deer meat. Those nay Sayers who continue to insist that, I am going to die from not eating meat.
Not having a lot of Vegetarian friends, it's difficult to even go out to eat with friends and family. Yes, Vegetarian's do like to eat out with other people! But many people simply don't comprehend why anyone would not want to eat meat. Worse, you're always introduced as a "Vegan", even when the conversation doesn't call for such a revelation. Eating out is a real exercise in both tolerance and patience. After 30+ years, I believe that I am one of the most tolerant and patient people in my state. At restaurants and drive up's the conversation goes something like this:
At places like "McDonalds", "Burger King", "I want a cheese and egg biscuit with no bacon, hash browns and a large coffee."
"A cheese and egg biscuit with NO BACON?"
"Yes, just leave the bacon off of a cheese and egg biscuit."
"So you want a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit?"
"No, I want a biscuit with only egg and cheese."
"We don't have a biscuit with only egg and cheese."
"Can you make me one?" I ask. "Your other stores have in the past."
"Uhwait a minute." They're usually checking with the manager to see if they can do this and what to charge for it.
"Umyeah, we can make one, but we'll have to charge you the regular price for a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit."
"Yes, I know. That's what I want though, Can you read the order back to me to make sure that you got everything?" By now I've forgotten all I ordered; I'm sure they have too.
"Yeah, a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit with no bacon, hash browns and a large coke."
"No. I wanted a large coffee."
"You wanted a large coffee instead of the biscuit and hash browns?"
"No, I wanted a large coffee with the biscuit and hash browns."
By the time I'm paying for this, I check it and it's got sausage on the biscuit!
My average wait time to get a meal at these places is between 5 and 20 minutes, every time.
Family isn't much better. Too often, I still hear, "What do you eat?" "I don't know how to cook for you, so I just made green beans and potatoes. Is that ok?"
"What are they seasoned with?" I ask, already deep down, knowing the answer.
"Oh salt, pepper, some chicken and beef stock. You know, the usual stuff."
It's nearly impossible to go out with anyone and stop for lunch because after commenting that they're hungry, they usually follow that with, "Oh you don't eat steak." Or "Oh, you don't eat chicken, do you?"
When you reiterate that you can get something at "Chick'fil'a" or "Steak and Shake"; they act like you're lying to them and cringe or do a double take. (Facial expressions tell more than most people think.)
"They have vegetables, potatoes and salads, don't they?" I remind them.
"Yeah. Can you eat that there?" (What do I look like? Somebody who survives on air?)
How do I get through to people that it's not the "usual stuff" for me?
When I take anything to a picnic or reunion, usually end up bringing most of it, home again. People just assume that since your dish has no meat that it's crap! In 30 years I've had one lucky holiday dish that got eaten. However, I had the usual verbal hassle from my nephew one Christmas:
"That's really good chili dip, you put beef in it, didn't you?"
"No there's no meat in there at all." Comes my response.
"C'mon, there's meat in there. I can taste the beef." He insists. "It's chewy, too."
"No, that's the "Bulgar Wheat" in the chili." I tell him.
I get a look as if he wants to know why I am lying to him. I don't think that he was convinced that it was Vegetarian chili dip. I kept getting these funny looks the rest of the night.
My sister, is even more of a vegetarian, but she does eat eggs and cheese. Her co-workers head off to "McDonalds" in the mornings and fill the office with the aroma of fresh-baked biscuits, eggs and coffee and they brought enough for everyone except her. Their comments, "I would've gotten something for you, but you don't eat meat." Couldn't they have asked? They know she drinks coffee and tea!
I love Mexican food, but when I make it, it's made with veggies. For years the local taco place had a guy who understood Vegetarians. It was so simple to go and get a "bean taco" even though they weren't on the menu or a "taco salad" without the meat. And at the time they didn't put any meat by-products in their beans; they were just good beans.
One day, things changed. I got a craving and headed off to my favorite fast Mexican food place and placed an order for 2 bean tacos and a bean burrito.
"Two beef tacos and a bean burrito." Came the horrific reply.
"No, two beeeeaaan tacos." I expressed.
"Two beef tacos." He said again.
"No, I want two tacos with beans in place of the meat and a beeeeaaan burrito."
"You want beans and meat in your tacos?" What was wrong with this guy?
"No, I want two tacos with NO MEAT. Only beans."
"Two tacos with no meat? Uh, we don't have those."
"Okay, last week, Stan, made me "Two bean tacos. He substituted beans for the meat."
"So you want two beef tacos with meat?" (Apparently, "substituted", was way too big of a word for this guy to understand.)
"Is Stanley there? He knows what I usually order." I asked.
"Uh, no, he quit yesterday."
"Okay, take two taco shells, fill them with beans, lettuce, tomato and cheese, but do not put any meat on them, ok?" (Boy, drive-ups just aren't what they used to be.)
"Okay, but we'll have to charge you the regular price." Mr. Dense says.
"I understand that, I won't complain if you make them without NO MEAT." I get to the window and all I get is two tacos, no burrito.
While your fancier, more upscale restaurants boast about how they can, "Make it any way you'd like it," it's seemingly more difficult to get the order through to the person taking it than it is for the chef to prepare it.
If I want the fettuccini without the Italian sausage for instance, I get something like:
"You don't want any sausage?"
"No, leave it off please."
"I don't know if we can do that. Hold on." She whispers to another waiter and comes back. "Ummm, we can't do that."
"Can you fix me a plain plate of just Fettuccini and sauce?" I ask.
"Sure!" with a huge smile.
"Okay, that's what I want with the broccoli and peppers on it."
"Oh!" She says, "You want broccoli peppers and sausage on it instead." (Apparently, people can't hear anymore.)
"No, I want the fettuccini with broccoli and peppers and sauce. No sausage."
"But, I told you, we can't do that."
"Your menu says, "We make it like you like it", so why can't you make it without the sausage?" I remind her.
"Okay, let me check with the kitchen." She swings around and speeds off to the kitchen for a quick chat with the chef, almost running into another waiter with a huge tray of food; eventually returning. "Um, we can make it without the sausage, but you'll have to pay the same price. Um, I'm sorry, but I didn't know that before. Now, you wanted the fettuccini with the veggies and Italian sausage?"
"No, I wanted the fettuccini with the veggies and sauce, only. No sa"
"Oh, that's right, no sausage." She interjects.
15-20 minutes later, everyone else at my table is eating; I'm still waiting. I ask about my plate when she delivers the drink refills. "Ummm, let me check. You were the one with no sausage, right?"
"Yes."
Everyone else has halfway finished and she's coming with my meal. "Ummm, it took a little longer because you ordered it without the sausage, but good news, it's ready! Here ya go!" She sits it down in front of me and it's cold. I'm sitting there, eating and everyone else is discussing how we're going to be late for the show.