by Juliannah Jamarin

Created on: March 18, 2009

With the divorce rate so high these days so many people find themselves with a dilemma. Should single parents date after divorce? Some people choose to start dating but an ever increasing amount have decided to forgo dating until their children are grown up and out on their own.

I believe this is the best situation for the children. Divorce is very hard on children. Kids never want their parents to divorce and lead separate lives. They are faced with living one life with Mom and one life with Dad. Sometimes parents are able to work together to make the children's life easier but other times parents are bitter and sometimes the children are in the middle of their parent's battles.

When you bring in dating and possible remarriage this causes more stress in children because they now have to deal with the new person in their parent's life. Sometimes the new person may resent the children and not readily accept them. Children can then feel isolated and even feel they might lose the parent to the new person in their parent's life.

With dating comes the possibility of sexual intimacy. One would hope the couple would keep this away from the children but when it isn't the children can become sexualized at a young age which can lead kids to becoming sexually active before they have a chance to grow up.

More often than not when a parent remarries many go on to have other children. The older child or children may now feel jealous of the younger sibling because that child gets to live full time with the parent and the prior children now just "visit" with their parent. Going back and forth between the two parents households make it difficult for the child to feel secure. Most adults would not want to change households every other week but the children are expected to just that.

There is another good reason for parents to refrain from dating while children are minors. Sometimes it becomes dangerous for children. Children can be sexually abused by pedophiles that prey on single women with young children. Many children have been seriously injured or even killed by boyfriends, girlfriends and step-parents. Parents certainly are not out looking for bad people to hurt their children but these people are out there and too many children have suffered and had their lives ruined when it could have been avoided.

Ultimately it is a parent's choice as whether to date or not. But parents should consider what is in the best interest of the children. Everyone wants to be happy and have a partner in life but when it could be at the expense of children then it should be considered very carefully.

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