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It can be very hard for an ageing parent to accept child's care. Having brought this individual into the world, taught them, loved them, watched them grow and cared for them, it is easy to understand how hard it is for parents when the roles are reversed. After all, this is just what happens, in many cases, when an elderly parent begins to find it difficult to cope, in one way or another, and needs help. Try and imagine how you will feel if one day your child has to care for you and I imagine that you will not see a pleasant scenario.

However, protecting or helping an ageing parent does not have to be a dreadful experience, for all concerned, if it is handled sympathetically. Maintaining an elderly parent's independence is often the key to successful care. Amongst the many day to day activities in life there are situations which can be unsafe for an ageing parent. This may be because the parent is suffering from Alzheimer's, has dementia, is physically frail, is a semi-invalid, cannot express themselves if, for instance, they have suffered a stroke or any number of reasons. Then again, it may be because they live in an area of town that is run down and has high crime figures. Whatever the reason for needing your protection, that is just what an elderly parent may need. Think of all the times when your Mum or Dad was there for you when you needed them to be. When you were very young you were vulnerable and needed protecting from many people and instances. This is probably going to be just what your ageing parent needs.

The difference with a parent though is that they are an adult with rights, responsibilities, experience and knowledge. In trying to protect them it could be so easy too patronise, insult their intelligence and offend. Just how to help this parent without belittling them and making them lose their independence can be hard, but it is not impossible.

Inclusion.

Whatever decisions are being made about your parent, be it with regard to their accommodation, lifestyle or finances, for example, they must be included. How awful it must be to have your life turned upside down without having any say in the matter. It means nothing that the person's intentions were good. Of course, if your parent has a condition such as dementia, it may be hard to fully include them but you can at least try and make sure that they are consulted.

Some professionals, such as nurses and doctors, have been known to talk to the person accompanying an elderly patient at consultation

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