by Carolyn Welty

Created on: March 18, 2009

Compassion, like any valuable moral trait, is environmental. Caring about others is discovered, first, in the home. When a child's basic needs are met, compassionate feelings are actually felt by the child. When something goes wrong for the child, as in, for example, a cut knee, the medical attention and band-aid allows the child to see and feel compassion, but the "kissing of the booboo" takes it a step higher. Caring about others, starting with family members is observed, felt, and learned by every child in the home.

When compassion extends beyond the home, the process is the same. A child watches the kind actions of the adults in their home, and they learn from them. Gestures of good will are notable examples. When a pie is sent next door to welcome a new neighbor, the child sees. When a meal goes over to the home of a family living with grief, the child notices. Children see it all. They see time and money given to those in need, as well. They also see generosity and kindness in action.

Gathering gently worn clothing and usable furniture and donating these items to a charity should incorporate the child as a participant, which further reinforces the generosity. Stopping to help persons in distress or caring for the needs of injured animals or wildlife also work, and the child can be a helper in these actions, too.

When a child sees an adult being kind and helpful to their peers, the child learns that this behavior is important with a peer of their own as well. The reaction of the parent is significant, too. "I was really pleased when you showed your friend how to tie her shoes." or, "It made me proud when you shared your treat." Who doesn't like praise like that?

On the flip side, the child learns from the negative actions of the adult. Unkind or gossipy language gets noticed with a fury. Acts of negligence speak loudly and firmly. Refusing to help others or throwing blame makes the child think that these types of behaviors are acceptable. Saying that one does not have the time to help others in need will teach a child to be selfish with their time, too.

"I would help the needy, if I could afford it." A child recognizes excuses, and a child learns to spit out their own excuses from the adult's excuses. It is really that simple.

Good examples of compassion, and bad examples of kindness are observed and learned by the child in their environment. Developing the good ways of a compassionate life is the key to success.

Learn more about this author, Carolyn Welty.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.