by Vicki Phipps

Created on: March 18, 2009   Last Updated: April 08, 2009

When a friend is living within an unhealthy relationship, you'll most likely become that friend's listening ear and when that friend has been a friend for years, it's hard not to interfere when they vent their frustrations, anger and fear. It's just what friends do, but when a friend vents their relationship issues through you, they place you in the position of having to choose. Whose view of the truth is right and which side is wrong? You'll tend to pick who the bad guy is, but when it comes to your friend, you'll never pick them.

WHEN A FRIEND IS IN AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP:

1. Sympathize but don't advise or take sides.

If the relationship comes to an end, you'll be your friends saving grace, like a saint who advised them through a huge mistake. It feels great to be the friend who stood by them through thick and thin, but then again, if they make up and the relationship mends, you'll be the friend who butts in. That's why it's wise to keep in mind that when it comes to a friend's unhealthy relationship, good friends don't take sides. They sympathize with their friend and comfort them, but they keep in mind that there's two sides to every issue and two views to look through. A wise friend might describe how they survived a similar relationship issue in their lives, but they don't criticize the other guy.

2. Anger and revenge never wins, so don't condemn.

It's easy to judge a guy who acts like a jerk, but good friends won't make the jerk seem worse. When a friend gets mad for and with a friend who's in an unhealthy relationship, that friend tends to fuel the anger into a rage. It's a huge mistake some friends make, because you see, adding fuel to any flame of anger or hate, tends to lead to the need to seek revenge. Still, justice never comes for you or your friend. The jerk will still be a jerk, but if you induce more anger within your friend, that jerk could get worse.

3. A path of peace always leads to serenity.

Instead of instigating a new issue for your friend to deal with in their unhealthy relationship, inspire your friend to see the bright side of things. Remind them of their value to you. Send them an uplifting message on an encouraging card. Provide your friend with some space and time away, so that they can find some peace of mind on a rode trip with you. On the way, discuss nothing but what makes you laugh, and without ending up like Thelma and Louise, take the adventurous path to a new destiny. Be upbeat and when your friend mentions the jerk again,

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