by Akhilesh Mittal

Created on: March 18, 2009   Last Updated: March 20, 2009

"A friend in NEED is a friend indeed."

Where should we draw a line between friendship and interference? How to identify when our friend needs us?

We should be there for our friends but at the same time draw a line so that we don't end up interfering in their lives. I love my privacy, and I believe it is true for everyone. Even for my friends. Everybody has the right to make their own decisions. Sometimes decisions can be emotional and if we are fully aware about the situation, we can help in the right decision being taken.

If we see our friend in an unhealthy relationship, we should first ask ourselves,

(1) Am I aware about all the aspects of their relationship?

(2) Do I know the reasons for qualifying it as an unhealthy relationship?

(3) Does my friend need my help or can he handle the situation on his own?

(4) Am I qualified enough on the issue to help my friend out myself?

Or, Does my friend need my help in seeing an expert to resolve the issue?

(5) If I were in a similar situation would I have expected my friends to interfere?

If the answer to all these questions is YES, then it is our responsibility as a friend to help our friends. If our friend is in a unhealthy relationship then it is not only an emotional drain on him but it takes a toll on his other relationships as well. I value my friendship with my friend and hence would need to make an active effort to smoothen out his issues. But as this is a personal matter we need to proceed with caution,

(A) Have a solitary chat with your friend and discuss the source of discomfort (his unhealthy relationship)

(B) Check with him if it is OK to discuss the same with him. Tread cautiously as it may offend him. If it is not OK with him, then don't pursue it any further and let him know that you are there for him.

(C) If you are friend is OK to discuss his unhealthy relationship then try to find out all the reasons for the same and if he intends to continue that relationship.

(D) If you are not an expert on the matter, don't try to become one now. He is your friend and you may want it to be like that for the rest of your life. So take him to an expert who can help him.

Friendship is a treasure and we should never take things for granted. Our friends sharing their information even though at time it is personal is a privilege for us. We should just not act momentarily and take an action that may offend them. But we should always be there for our friends and should help them if they need it.

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