by R. Colleen

Created on: March 17, 2009

I sat across from her in the restaurant, the dim lights unable to conceal the bruising and swelling around her left eye. She hadn't anticipated the black eye and it had been too late for her to cancel our scheduled meeting to finish her wedding plans. As I had waited for her, I debated whether or not I should mention seeing Brian, her fiance, at the movies last night with someone he couldn't keep his hands off of, someone who obviously wasn't her. Seeing her sitting across from me looking so fragile, bruised and defensive, set my blood boiling. Anger threatened to spew from my mouth so I quickly grabbed my iced tea, taking a huge gulp. With every ounce of self-control I had, I waited for her to speak.

"Sorry I'm late." She paused, gingerly touching her cheekbone. "I had a little altercation with a cupboard door." She tried to laugh it off. When I didn't comment, she awkwardly cleared her throat and opened the wedding notebook she was carrying. "Let's get started."

I sat silently, willing her to meet my gaze. I was so torn between conflicting emotions - love for my friend, anger at him, fear for what this meant both for our relationship and theirs. She had been planning her wedding to Brian for months, so looking forward to being his wife.

Quenching the wrath against Brian, my goal to show my friend compassion and not pity, I interfered. I had no intention of putting Brian down or asking her to defend him in any way. But I loved (and still love) my friend and could not sit silently by as she continued in an unhealthy, and dangerous, relationship. After seeing him the night before with another woman and, today, with the bruise on her face, I knew I would be doing her a disservice by pretending everything was fine. If I said anything, I would either be putting our friendship on the line or her wedding. It was a risk I was compelled to take. Arguing with myself whether this was really any of my business or not, I debated interfering. Opening my mouth won the battle.

She discounted my concerns, made excuses for him and has avoided me at all cost for the past four years.

But she listened. Even though she broke it off with Brian, I still lost my friend, which didn't make any sense to me. However, the most important thing was that she was safe.

I didn't want to be right and I never wanted to tell her, "I told you so." But I loved her enough to be honest. I loved her enough to risk all of our years as friends. I loved her enough to interfere - not with my opinion but with facts. I have asked myself many times if interfering was worth our relationship. Yes.

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