Friends, "Frienemies", and Enemies
Relationships in school can be very tough. One day people are "friends", and the next day things may have cooled considerably. People are always jockeying for social positions and status. There are particularly types of social groups, and some people don't seem to fit in anywhere. Amidst this social chaos, there is a mixture of happiness, sadness, anger, and mirth. Some people go out of their way each day to entertain themselves. Sometimes this is playful fun while other times it is cruel or mean-spirited. Here are a few thoughts on the line between harmless fun and bullying.
Friends having fun
Much of the delineation between fun and bullying comes down to the quality of the relationship. When people are actually friends, then most things are harmless fun. After all, there is a bond and a level of trust. That doesn't mean that friends avoid pranks or other jokes. Sometimes the closest friends are the ones that come up with the most creative torment. However, this targeting has boundaries as people maintain a level of friendliness to go with their mischief.
Less than friends
When people are less than friends or actually have a poor relationships, interactions may lean more towards bullying. When people bully, they tend to have favorite targets, which are often people that they can dominate. When someone reacts in frustration or fear at the sight of someone coming, chances are it is not a recipe for harmless fun.
Private and public
Sometimes the line between fun and bullying is seen in the context of the interaction. When people pick on someone else just in jest, it is often in a situation that does not include a lot of people. In fact, it may be something that only the targeted person realizes, such as a personal prank. However, bullying is sometimes done in a more public context. This creates a situation where the person is not only targeted but embarrassed in front of their peers. Of course, this is not always an even split. Sometimes bullying is private as well, particularly if someone wants to pick on another person and not get caught by an authority figure.
Damage and harm
The other difference between harmless fun and bullying is the actual results. When someone is just pulling a joke or picking on someone in a more "harmless" way, there is often no real harm done. There may be some playful banter, a temporarily stolen item, or a decorative prank that is discovered when one least expects it. However, bullying may result in actual damage to property.
Physical abuse
A good indicator that something is bullying is when actions include actual physical harm to an individual in the form of harassment or violence. When someone feels uncomfortable with an attack, chances are it is well beyond humor. The person inflicting the attack may be laughing, but this does not change the fact that someone would rather not experience that sort of episode again.
A sense of things
Oftentimes, people know when they are having fun and when things have gone "over the line." There are situatons where people are unaware that they have hurt someone's feelings with their attempt at fun, but most of the time the results are not a mystery. When people want to have fun, they will put the brakes on before they get to a certain point. However, when someone actually wants to bully someone, they will employ different tactics.
Conscience
Psychologists, philosophers, and theologians have long argued about the relative "good" or "evil" of humanity. One could argue that in most situations, people know when they are having fun and when they are crossing the line into "bullying." Granted, some people don't really care, or they are hiding some sense of insecurity by acting the part of the tough guy. Regardless of the motivation, it could be reasonably suggested that a majority of people know what they are doing when it comes to how they treat people. The results may be unpredictable, but the intentions are usually understood.
It's all fun and games until...
There is plenty of harmless fun in this world, but unfortunately there is also harm that is inflicted through bullying. Sometimes bullying is a calculated strategy, while other times people are intending to poke fun but actually end up hurting other's feelings. In most cases, people should be ready to defend themselves and be clear about their feelings. However, they should also be ready to walk away because some conflicts are not worth it, and a challenged bully may respond with even deeper aggression.