by Todd Pheifer

Created on: March 17, 2009   Last Updated: March 27, 2009

Friends, "Frienemies", and Enemies

Relationships in school can be very tough. One day people are "friends", and the next day things may have cooled considerably. People are always jockeying for social positions and status. There are particularly types of social groups, and some people don't seem to fit in anywhere. Amidst this social chaos, there is a mixture of happiness, sadness, anger, and mirth. Some people go out of their way each day to entertain themselves. Sometimes this is playful fun while other times it is cruel or mean-spirited. Here are a few thoughts on the line between harmless fun and bullying.

Friends having fun

Much of the delineation between fun and bullying comes down to the quality of the relationship. When people are actually friends, then most things are harmless fun. After all, there is a bond and a level of trust. That doesn't mean that friends avoid pranks or other jokes. Sometimes the closest friends are the ones that come up with the most creative torment. However, this targeting has boundaries as people maintain a level of friendliness to go with their mischief.

Less than friends

When people are less than friends or actually have a poor relationships, interactions may lean more towards bullying. When people bully, they tend to have favorite targets, which are often people that they can dominate. When someone reacts in frustration or fear at the sight of someone coming, chances are it is not a recipe for harmless fun.

Private and public

Sometimes the line between fun and bullying is seen in the context of the interaction. When people pick on someone else just in jest, it is often in a situation that does not include a lot of people. In fact, it may be something that only the targeted person realizes, such as a personal prank. However, bullying is sometimes done in a more public context. This creates a situation where the person is not only targeted but embarrassed in front of their peers. Of course, this is not always an even split. Sometimes bullying is private as well, particularly if someone wants to pick on another person and not get caught by an authority figure.

Damage and harm

The other difference between harmless fun and bullying is the actual results. When someone is just pulling a joke or picking on someone in a more "harmless" way, there is often no real harm done. There may be some playful banter, a temporarily stolen item, or a decorative prank that is discovered when one least expects it. However, bullying may result in actual

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