Living with a compassionate spirit is both admirable and essential. Admirable because it seems so many people today embrace a hardened 'get them first' or 'looking out for number one' attitude of self defense; essential because progress in humanity is generally made by the hard-working compassionate. What better place to nurture compassion than in the family?
Infants enter the world innocent: aware only of their immediate needs and equipped with the few skills necessary to request survival from those nearby. In his first years of development a child views the people around him as merely an extension of himself. It is a sign of good parenting that he takes his mother or other lived-with individuals for granted.
However, as he enters his third and fourth year it is important to teach him small but monumental lessons such as cause and effect. He needs to learn that hitting other children or stealing toys is not okay because his universe of one actually contains many, many individuals. It is around this time that compassion can easily begin to be taught, and must.
Start simple, find ways to involve your child in cultural activities that bring him into contact with a variety of people, or bring them to him through educational programs. Even the smallest towns often have house-sized museums dedicated to this culture or that. Museums about the Underground Railroad or a formerly local Native American population are a good start, and are both informative and interesting.
Your child does not have to be old enough to ask about skin color for you to be complimentary about people of all ethnicities. The religious parent might say "God created each of us differently, and we are all beautiful and valuable". Even a statement such as "what a lovely person" in reference to those on your television can cause a subtle association of beauty with all shades of skin, hair, eyes... things that too often adults use as an excuse to separate from one another.
Practicing compassion is not limited to introducing your child to and exhibiting comfort with people of all cultures. A compassionate nature embraces humans from all situations of life as well. A wonderful web site for encouraging your child to show an active, living compassion is www.smilesnhugs.com.
This site was created for caring individuals to send letters, cards, notes and stickers etc to children living with long-term illnesses such as cancer. They use third party addresses to protect the children and families involved, and ask that you send only positive or 'happy' notes. (Rather than sending a you're-sick themed 'get well soon' card, you might instead send a 'have a lovely day' card.) Children as young as three can be told that there are a lot of sick boys and girls, and we want to help make them feel happy.
Another way to teach your child living compassion is through web sites such as www.adoptaussoldier.com, which pair willing individuals and families with soldiers who are lonely overseas and could use some extra interaction with those of us here at home. It is very easy to explain to your children that no matter what we think of war, there are fathers and brothers over there who need our love and support. Even the youngest of children can be involved in picking out items for a care package, or coloring a nice picture to send along.
There are thousands of creative ways to incorporate compassion for others into your daily life. Tell your child that the obese, handicapped or differently height-or-skin-toned person they have just noticed is a beautiful human deserving of love and respect. Find ways to give back to the community or needy individuals. Find cultural activities for your family to enjoy together. Compassion IS a learned trait, and genuinely will make the world a better place the more actively it is practiced.
Never forget that you are not just passing selfishly through your own life, you are raising and influencing an entire generation. If we really want the world to be a better place for our children and grandchildren, we had better raise them to impact that change themselves.
Every president, teacher, public hero (firefighter etc), soldier or rights activist out there was raised by somebody; so was every murderer, terrorist or evil mastermind. Personally, I'd rather be the mother of a Martin Luther King than the mother of a Jeffrey Dommer. What you do with your children today absolutely will matter for years to come. Do not make compassion the word of the day: truly live it, and encourage your children to live it as well.