by R. Colleen

Created on: March 17, 2009

Children live what they learn. In attempting to teach our children the gift of compassion, the possibility exists that we may send them a "Do as I say, not as I do" message. We are responsible for more than just the words that come out of our mouths. A worn-out cliche comes to mind, "Actions speak louder than words". If we simply show them our actions, we are not demonstrating compassion.

Have your children ever observed you lending a helping hand, ministering to someone who is sick, putting aside your own agenda to babysit someone's child so they can have a much-needed break only to hear you grumble and complain behind closed doors? That's one of the best ways to teach your children hypocrisy, not compassion.

Kids are smart. They can zero in on an impostor with breathtaking speed. As their parent, if this is you, guess what you are teaching them?

Compassion flows from the heart. Oh, there are those who are infinitely more tenderhearted than others, quicker to extend mercy, ready with an outstretched hand at the drop of a hat. Using the excuse that it's not in your genetic "make-up" doesn't cut it when it comes to compassion. It is not necessarily something you may have born with but all of these things can be developed.

It is simply a matter of beginning to think of others instead of always thinking about yourself. It is unselfishness in action. It is taking the blinders off and getting a good look at the needs of others. It is a gentle word (in public and
in private), a soothing touch, a tender look. With compassion, there are no grudges or IOUs.

Compassion is not taking an occasional opportunity (flinging a bill or two in the Salvation Army bucket at Christmas) but a lifestyle attitude.

Before it can be generated in your children, it must begin with you. It has a kind of "Pay It Forward" effect. There is a commercial running frequently nowadays for some company that shows simple random acts of kindness affecting a bystander who then goes on with his/her day and takes the opportunity to show someone else that kindness. None of the help given is of any great consequence to either the bystander or the one who is helping but it does impact other lives that cross our path. The first time I saw it, I cried. Why? Because that type of behavior is so out of the ordinary in our day and age. It's almost as if we require a reminder to offer a "hand up" to those who are in need. Okay, maybe now is a good time to add the disclaimer offering our help WHETHER OR NOT we are ever recognized for it!

Begin today developing a heart of compassion. Set aside your predominant thought pattern of Me First and take a good look at others. When it is painful and you want to shut your eyes against it, ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist, DON'T! Take a good look at others for a change, let your heart become soft and watch compassion pour forth. I can guarantee, your children will see it, too.

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