5 of 13

Write now Article Tools

Page 2 of 2

look for the best things about the whole situation. I was on long-term disability from my job because of my own battle with Bipolar Disorder. It became a common bond between my mother-in-law, Mary, and me. Mary would ask me where she could get a new brain and I would tell her we would each go out and find one.

I have the most wonderful friend in the world. She absolutely loved Mary and she would come over and take Mary out for coffee or out to dinner, just to give me a break and allow me to spend time with my daughter. Mary adored her. My friend, who was (and still is) an angel in a human being's body, even took Mary on a two-week vacation to the Caribbean. Something in Mary's brain cleared for a while when she was around my friend. They would have wonderful conversations. They would laugh for hours and my friend Lisa never tired of hearing the same story repeatedly.

My daughter grew older and developed enormous compassion for her grandmother. My daughter is amazing. She has grown up with a mother who has Bipolar Disorder, a grandmother who has Alzheimer's and a largely absentee father. My only child is resilient, and has more compassion and love for her fellow man than any person I have ever met.

Late last year Mary entered the latter stages of Alzheimer's. She became violent. She punched me in the face and tried to break my arm. She smacked my daughter. I had to call the police because the situation was out of control. My husband was away on vacation and said he could not see any point in coming home early. I had to put Mary in the hospital and put her on a crisis list for a nursing home.

Today, she is in a nursing home. I cry every time I go there. She does not know who I am anymore but I did not realize how much I had grown to love this woman. I know she would not want to live this way. When she was originally diagnosed with Alzheimer's she told me she should be able to pick the time when she wanted to die. I look at Mary sitting in her wheelchair. She just stares vacantly at the wall, her brain barely functioning. I now truly know the meaning of the phrase "the long good-bye".

Learn more about this author, Leah Curtis.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

• << previous page
• 1
• 2

Add your voice

Know something about Living with Alzheimers?
We want to hear your view. Write now!