by Emma K. Jones

Created on: March 17, 2009

"I can do it!" my 3 year old grandson exclaimed, as he dipped the jelly onto his bread. He was helping make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. His attention was focused and he did not want any help from me. I nervously hovered over him watching for jelly drips as he strategically dotted his piece of bread. Next came the peanut butter, thick and hard to spread. His persistence was undaunted as he maneuvered the knife across the bread, ripping it to shreds. I had to move away from the counter because the need to help was way too strong. I resisted the urge to take over and make the sandwich for him despite his opposition. I stepped back and watched his determination; his eyes focused on his progress.

I mused at his efforts, despite the impending mess. How I wished I could relax and let him enjoy his masterpiece. I wished that I could celebrate with him the learning going on and the ability to gain independence.

My thoughts turned to Jesus. How does he feel when we are busy making a mess that we are so sure is a masterpiece? How hard is it for him to sit by and watch and not interfere with our free will? How much love does it take to stand back and let us make mistakes? Especially, when he can stop it and take over everything from our control.

Then I stop myself and rethink my thoughts. If God takes control, then it is not our choice. It is not our free will anymore. God did not make us tiny robots to love him. He wants us to choose him and to be blessed with his gifts. A love given freely is authentic and God will not settle for anything less.

On the other hand, God will use our stubbornness to break that tough exterior we assume when we think we can do it all by ourselves. He will let us fail because of our indifference and in turn, use this to reveal in us our need to have him in our lives. He will use our mistakes and turn them into learning opportunities. He will let us have the knife to make the mess and if we fail, he will be there to clean it up.

God doesn't plead or beg us to follow the rules. He will however stay with us until we surrender it all and become totally dependent on him. He doesn't want us to do everything by ourselves. God's love is all giving, but only if we ask. Only if we ask and only if we receive.

As my grandson tried to finish his sandwich making, frustration set in. He attempted to cut the sandwich in half only to have it dissolve under his force. As he gave way to the tears, he asked for my help. I took the knife and made his sandwich "all better" and for the moment, I was the best grandma in the whole world.

How nice it is to be needed and how nice it is to have the free will to love Jesus.

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