by Elizabeth Blankenship

Created on: March 17, 2009   Last Updated: June 29, 2010

I have worked in the Human Services field for many years. I've seen people at their lowest and highest times. Sometimes people are total strangers, and many times it's my neighbors. I have developed ways to help neighbors who might be struggling financially without insulting them. The first step, open communication and learning if they're even having financial difficulties?

How to find out if your neighbor is financially struggling:

~ Think your neighbor might be struggling? Don't waste an opportunity to strike-up a conversation during chance encounters. One-on-one times are best.

~ Ask open questions like: "How are you?" One small question coupled with active listening on your part, makes a person feel more comfortable, and likely to share more with you.

~ Make direct and gentle eye contact when listening. At appropriate pauses restate key parts of your neighbor's conversation. Show you are interested, concerned and listening. Keep responses to a minimum to allow your neighbor to freely communicate. You may find-out far more than you bargained for. That's OK, communication has begun to flow.

~ Be non-judgmental (avoid the "I think you should's"). It's OK to try and steer conversations back to the question at hand.

~ Use the "I" word rather than the "you" word. Example: "I noticed that the car hasn't been passing by my house in the mornings, is everything OK?" Instead of: "You haven't been going to work?"

Ways to help neighbors who are struggling financially without insulting them:

~ Let your neighbor know you are there if they need you. When finances are tough people feel very alone, and isolated. I have known many people who have lost jobs and shared that they not only lost their job, but also felt like they lost their friends... Some people think that a job loss is contagious, Don't worry it's not. It however can happen to anyone, at anytime...even you.

~ Be there... Don't just pay lip service. Stand-up behind your neighbor, and be there. Don't over extend yourself though. Give what you are able to. You're no good to anyone else if don't take care of yourself and family first.

~ Always respect your neighbors privacy, and your neighbor. Who likes their business shared all-over the Neighborhood? Not me.

~ Offer play dates for their children. The time-off will allow your neighbor time to think, save money on Day Care, seek employment, run important errands...etc.

~ "Accidentally" bake an extra loaf of banana bread... or have too many cookies to possibly

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