by Shanna Campbell

Created on: March 17, 2009   Last Updated: June 29, 2009

The term "low self esteem" would imply that one could posess any sort of the latter part of the phrase. It implies that the person either has a realistic view of themselves, average of normal, or above average sense of themselves. When someone is depicted as having low self esteem, really, they have no self esteem. It does not exist to that person, or at least that is what they portray or believe. Why do people have this issue? Is it even an issue at all? How do you know if you are portrayed as someone who has no self esteem or the disadvantages of having this view point on life.

My glass is classically half empty. For as long as I can remember, I had been picked on. I was very tall, a little overweight, had stringy, dark, greasy hair, gaps in my teeth, huge ears that stuck out from my head, a "pig snout" and a higher I.Q than my fellow classmates. I had balls of paper thrown at my head that said "I hate you" during computer class. When I would write on the chalk board, they would make barn yard animal sounds behind me. Nicknames never ended... I thought I had no friends in the world and all I could do was sit in my room and mope..

By the time I was 14, it was obvious the awkward stage was over. Boys wanted my attention and my phone rang off the hook with friends. I always minded other people's feelings though. I liked to include everyone, after all, that was me before you fickle group decided I was good enough for you. ..

My self esteem issues definately have gotten the best of me in my life. I still to this day suffer from an eating disorder. My weight fluxuates when I'm stressed particularily. I tend to compensate for the lack of control in my life controlling my intake (or lack of) food. I can lose up to a pound a day at my low points. When I was 21, I weighed less than I did in the 8th grade..

I am constantly complaining to boyfriends about the way I look. The lights are always off in the bedroom. I have never worn revealing outfits. Everyone thinks this is a sign of my maturity (that I really don't have) and apply terms like "classic" and "cute" when describing my look. I am always taken aback in the rare instance someone calls me or my outfit "sexy" or even "hot". Men hate this aspect of women. I have to say I am the type who constantly asks if I look fat in an outfit, ritually get my hair done and buy into cosmetic trends and tend to very shy.

The style I have developed for myself has a uniqueness to it, simply because I got so frustrated with trying to

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