by Erika Cormier

Created on: March 17, 2009

Oh, how we learn after having a partner whom we choose to share our life with! Lessons are so abundant! I would reflect mostly on the day and times after my husabnd's father passed away. It was almost unrealistic. They were best friends. They were so very close in age, they had the same trade, they were pals. And what a wrench thrown into a day you think is just the average. I was working an hour away and could not be at the hospital. For the time I got the phone call, he was already pronounced dead and his belongigns had already been handed to my husband. His wallet, clothes, car keys. It was a bag of his father's things, as if he had just been summed up into a package of normally meaningless items. But that day those items held more meaning than ever. That night we all gathered at his dad's house and just cried and stared to plan for the funeral. My husband just cried the whole time, and proceeded to become drunk. It was his way of numbing the harsh reality. The morning after was the worst. It is like you wake up and remember the worst nightmare you had ever just had, except it wasn't a nightmare, it was real. It took all I had to keep it together for him, and all the time hurt and grieving myself. The many days after the funeral almost seemed more real and more painful. My hurting husband was absolutley lost. He was lost in every sense of the word. I kept strong to be his rock, which I know helped a lot, but it was so hard to do. Every day that went by, my husband became more and more depressed and in a hole of grief. He drank more and acted different, and it got to the point where I started to feel resentful for his behavior. Even though in the back of my mind I knew what it stemmed from. I had so many days I wanted to explode into a rage about how he had changed and things that bothered me, but I didn't. Inside I felt like I didn't know if I could be with him for much longer with his depression lasting and becoming so destructive. I started to feel depressed also. During his drunken haze which lasted many months, actually over a year, close to two years to be exact, I had a difficult time dealing with the new person that was my husband. Long story short, or long lesson, short..there were so mamy times I was mad at my husband for being drunk and inappropriate or just constantly being deperessed and negative. But I always reminded myself why. I knew why. I tried to ignore it because I'd hoped he would just snap out of his depression but he did not. So being

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>