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It seems like only yesterday that you were just thirty-something and focused on raising and providing for your young family. You envied your parents as you watched them enjoying the newly found freedom of retirement. Yet each time they packed their bags and headed off on some new adventure, a fleeting thought about something happening to either mom or dad would trouble you. But when you focused on the vitality and excitement they both still seemed to exude, you reassured yourself that they would be around for many more years. Envisioning them as one day becoming elderly, was a bit of a stretch.

Fast forward-twenty years later, and guess what? Now you're the one who's fifty-something. Perhaps you've already lost your mom or dad. Maybe, the other one's health is failing and it's time to seriously consider how you will care for your remaining parent. The most obvious choice...move your mother or father into your house. But, wait! Before you leap into what may become an enormous responsibility, there are a few things for you to consider.

Have You Asked Your Parent What He or She Wants?

You've probably been thinking plenty about how big of an adjustment this will be for you, but what about your remaining parent? Have you asked dad what he wants to do? Do you know how mom feels about potentially giving up her last vestige of independence and moving in with her adult child? It's easy to forget that an elderly parent still has dreams of his own and needs a measure of independence. Sometimes in the process of trying to decide what we think is best for our aging parents, we forget to ask them how they feel. Caught up in the process of "doing the right thing," we stop thinking of a senior parent as a person who has lived a majority of life without our input. So, before you start rearranging the furniture, sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your mom or dad.

Have You Thought About What Your Parent Is Giving Up?

Selling the family home is a huge loss and means the end of a way of life. Surviving elderly parents fear the changes that will accompany moving in with their grown children. They are saddened by the realization that they are losing one of the most tangible attachments to a deceased spouse; the family home. The elderly also have grave concerns about whether they will be allowed to have their own space, enjoy the foods that they like, and be treated as a valuable member of the family. Before you start consolidating personal belongings and down-sizing to

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