by T. GISKI

Created on: March 16, 2009

How far should one push a child to succeed? In matter of words: the "push" should be uncomfortable, but not painful. Without a push, many children would lack initiative or drive. Too hard of a push can send them spiraling in the opposite direction, and make them resent the tasks, the skills, or the person who is behind the push to begin with. Responsible parenting means instilling a good foundation that values hard work and discipline while still allowing them to discover themselves and their own passions in life.

Even if it is with the best intentions for their children, often times many parents often end up pushing their kids too hard. Parenting is not easy. There is no instruction manual. However, responsible parents will grow as people themselves, as their children grow as well. Part of parenting means learning to walk and to balance that fine line of enforcing discipline and also respecting the free will and individuality of the child. Though it sounds easy, it is often quite difficult to allow children to make their own choices, to exhibit their own will and to create goals of their own; probably because parents want so badly to see their children succeed and thrive in today's competitive society.

I beleive it is a parental right, an obligation, to teach children that anything worth doing is worth doing well and to one's best ability. It is important to teach the value of hard work, and to accept no less than an honest effort from your child in whatever endeavor they are pursuing. However, constant nagging or pressure from a parent can do more harm then good. It is a push that is just too forceful, when the child ends up hating a sport, loathing an instrument, failing a class, or quitting a hobby they once enjoyed because they feel as though they cannot meet the parent's expectations. Or, worse yet, they burn themselves out or injure themselves because they are trying so desperately to win the parent's approval.

Most children want to succeed, and a small "push", or some positive encouragement is all they need to continue trying and practicing and perfecting their craft. Encouraging 100% effort, not perfection, is a healthy approach. While punishment for a bad performance or bad grade may be overly severe, it may be more appropriate to reward a good performace. When a child does try their hardest and put forth their best effort, they should be applauded. Positive words have a greater impact then negative ones. A compliment on a game played, a small token for a good grade, or a special meal for a good performance are examples of small pieces of encouragement that parents can offer up to their children.

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