by Scott Birch

Created on: March 16, 2009

It exists. It has always existed, It has been around forever. Nobody has heard from or seen It, but you know what It likes and dislikes, what It does and doesn't do. It loves you. It knows everything about you. It is everywhere. It knows everything. It can do anything. It has a plan.

If something good happens, praise It. If something bad happens, It works in mysterious ways. You can, and should, pray to It. It's answer will be yes, no, or maybe.

People die for It. You will never see It, if you did, it would ruin It. It can convict you of thought crime. You are to fear It. It doesn't matter that you don't understand It, It knows everything and you know nothing. People who kill in It's name simply misunderstand It. It is perfect and It's Word is perfect but It, and It's Word, are open to interpretation. There is more than one It in the world, and people kill each other over which It is the true It.

It used to hate gays. It used to think that women were lower than men. It used to warrant genocide. You used to believe that It created the world from scratch in six days, now things slowly evolved (but It is still responsible for life on this planet). It did not evolve. It has always been there. The world used to be 6000 years old, now it is billions. You cannot be the President of the United States if you don't believe in It. You either do not possess common sense, or you had a bad childhood if you do not believe in It.

It had a man almost kill his only son in order to prove his loyalty to It. It does magic. It had a man load two of every animal into a boat, one male and one female from every 1,100 species of bat, and distribute each animal to it's appropriate continent. It did that so It could kill everyone and everything that wasn't on the boat. There is no archaeological evidence for this, but It did it.

Without It, you are immoral. Without It, you are going to a place where you burn. Any good you do during your life is only because of It, whether you acknowledge it or not. You burn if you break even one of It's rules. If you break the rules, the only way you will go to a bright, shiny place is by begging for forgiveness. It created you sick and demanded you to be healthy.

It was human, It was killed before you were born, but you killed It, It's blood is on your hands. Humanity is soaked in It's blood. It died for your sins. You should feel guilty, you should feel like the dust It crafted you from.

It will come back one day. It will save you if you lived according to It. It will destroy all those who didn't and send them to burn.

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