by Nanette Piotrowski

Created on: March 16, 2009   Last Updated: April 30, 2010

The number of American adults who abuse alcohol is about 17.6 million. National guidlines suggest that fourteen or more drinks in one week for a male and seven drinks for a female and/or five drinks per day for a male and four drinks for a female consitutes alcohol abuse.

Alcohol is a depressant and each individual reacts differently under its control. For some, it may create a temporary euphoria and for others, it may actually create a depressive state of anxiety, distress, anger and hopelessness.

Besides the primary health concern, changes in family making decisions, authority, communication problems, increased conflict, nagging, poor sexual relations and domestic violence occur from the over-use of alcohol. As the opposite spouse, it is important to determine whether the drinking is related to a particular problem.

*Interpersonal

Has something changed in the persons private life that has initiated additional drinking? The death of a close family member or friend. Has a crisis arisen in that spouses family? Has a problem that was dealt with in the past come back? Is that spouse having an affair?

*Physical

Is there a medical problem that your spouse does not want to divulge to you? Concern for your well-being or shame may prevent them from confiding in you. Age or sexual related problems may prohibit them from sharing their concerns.

*Social

Is there a problem with co-workers or the boss at work? Is the person about to lose their job and the consequences are too over-whelming? Is the stress of their job taking a toll mentally and physically?

Whether an individual chooses to initiate change in their own behavior ultimately is their responsibility, however, the other spouse needs to decide on the limits they will tolerate. Open communication is the key between spouses to ensure that any alcohol abuse is discussed and dealt with in a reasonable time frame.

No finger-pointing should be engaged in, as this only enforces the drinking of the partner. Understanding what caused the onset of increased alcohol use is crucial to addressing the problem. Sometimes the person indulging doesn't realize their increased consumption.

Some simple signs to look for are: an increase in arguments over nothing, short temper, avoiding intimacy, lackadaisical about finances, dismissing important dates or appointments, or a general malaize in their attitude. Engaging your partner about the concerns you feel may allow them to open up and discuss their issues.

Alcohol abuse is one of the top ten reasons for divorce in this country and for the increase in domestic violence. It is important to understand that if the problem is not addressed within a reasonable time, the drinking will escalate. Counseling for both partners may be necessary for the health of the relationship.

Learn more about this author, Nanette Piotrowski.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.