by Robin Landry

Created on: March 16, 2009   Last Updated: April 02, 2009

Learning to ride a bike is probably one of the earliest opportunities for children to experience a true sense of accomplishment. I also think that the way we learn to ride can be a strong predictor of how we will approach other challenges later in life.

I was lucky; my dad seemed to have perfected the perfect balance of offering gentle guidance and assistance while also giving me time to practice and master the skills on my own as well. I had some friends who were simply given a bike and told, "Learn how to ride," with no help or guidance and others who were allowed to languish in the world of training wheels for far too long or others who simply never learned to ride at all. Children need a balance between loving support and letting go to master many tough challenges along the way.

My dad let me ride with training wheels for a few weeks in order for me get the feel of the bike but then removed them and took to running along behind. I was seven when I began learning to ride which meant that my dad was about thirty-eight years old. With the aches and pains that generally begin to set in around that time in life I now recognize what a tremendous act of love and nurturing that really was. Dad started with a fairly firm hold on the seat and then would loosen his grip as I became more confident. But if I hit a rock or started to wobble he never let me fall. I was confident that he would always be there which I think was important in building the trust between us that continues today some forty years later although he is now the one who seems a bit wobbly on his feet from time to time while I work like the dickens to make sure that he doesn't fall.

But he never held on too tightly either. Dad seemed to instinctively know when to loosen his grip and how long to wait to give me a chance to get my balance and right myself before jumping in to grab me. I saw this type of loving support time and time again, like when I was a miserable college student considering leaving school in frustration or a recent grad scared that I wouldn't be able to find work and threatening to join the French Foreign Legion or some equally improbable cause. He wasn't afraid to let me wobble a bit until I got my bearings and he never made the mistake of holding on with an iron grip that prevented me from learning to navigate life on my own.

While riding Dad would sometimes offer encouragement or helpful advice like "Lean a little more to your right" or "Pedal a bit faster!" But thankfully, he never

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