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A MAN'S GUIDE TO CHICK FLICKS
Chick flicks have been called cliched, stupid, trite, unbearable, enhanced interrogation techniques, melodramatic, and childish. However, it was mostly male critics who came up with such labels. This year, it's time to face the facts: chick-flicks are here to stay, and there's no avoiding them. If your significant other wants to watch a Renee Zellweger film then one way or another, you are watching 90 minutes of Renee Zellweger "acting." Still, there are some preliminary steps that you can take to make the experience less painful.
Tip 1 - Try to pick a movie with plenty of manliness in it. Even though you are about to watch a movie that was specifically built from the ground up to target those of the female persuasion, plenty of chick-flicks have manly elements buried deep inside. Take the classic love story The Notebook. Sure, there's a lot of sappy love scenes. But after Rachel McAdams leaves Ryan Goslin, he doesn't sit around weeping. He takes a bottle of whiskey in one hand, a hammer on the other and renovates a home. For seven years. There's nothing manlier than home improvement and that's a fact. The Notebook does have its drawbacks though, in the form of a soul-crushingly depressing ending. I wept for several days. Why can't they just love each other forever? Another good choice is The Princess Bride, which is really just an adventure film hidden underneath a love story. There's no one who doesn't enjoy The Princess Bride.
Tip 2 - Try to pick a movie that has a male lead less attractive than you: I'm able to watch Matthew McConaughey movies with members of the opposite sex because I do a lot of push-ups, but not everyone is in such peak physical shape. A good rule of thumb: if any of the actors make you look bad, then do not watch that movie. Patrick Swayze, no. Robert Redford, no. Think Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire and you have the right idea. Also, any Hugh Grant movies will do. Sandra Bullock is pretty manly, but even the average reader can upstage him.
Tip 3 - There's no shame in enjoying the movie: With or without my tips, you may find yourself actually enjoying a chick-flick. Sure, it's no Deer Hunter, but you may laugh every once in a while at Elle Woods' zany antics, or find yourself singing along in Enchanted. This is a perfectly normal reaction and there is nothing to be scared of. Even I will readily admit that Gossip Girl is one of the most addictive shows on television or that Bring It On is oh so watchable. You will not be considered less manly for not dreading the dreaded chick-flick. Any technique that helps get you through February will be accepted under Man Law #8.
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