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There are many milestones in life; the first day of school, getting your driver's license, graduations or landing that first "real job." Purchasing that first home is another that is both exhilarating and frightening mostly because it places one solidly within the ranks of authentic "grown-ups."

My former husband and I purchased our first home together in 1989. We were college sweethearts who had married just two years earlier. We were both employed at a large Mid-west based insurance company and lived first in a townhouse apartment and then in a rented single family home. Our company announced that it was opening a brand new office in Tulsa, Oklahoma and was soliciting interest among current employees to go and staff the new operation. After taking a whirlwind weekend trip to the Tulsa area, being wined and dined by the company and plied with all of the financial incentives the company was offering to potential transferees we decided to take the plunge. It seemed like a prime opportunity to purchase our first home.

Our first step was to complete a seemingly massive amount of paperwork disclosing our financial situation, income, assets and outstanding debt: that was the hard part for two twenty-something young adults not that far removed from the world of frat parties and all night study sessions but we persevered. But then, we arrived at the "fun part", which was putting together our dream home "wish list." It was at this point that I experienced what I had learned in my college literature courses was a "foreshadowing." I was quite practical in my wish list items: number of bedrooms, bathrooms, square foot area, attached garage, while my husband's main concern was whether the driveway included a basketball goal. It seemed a minor annoyance at the time and yet when we divorced just five years later it all seemed to make sense somehow.

At any rate we plowed ahead and then received our "personal real estate matching assignment." Wanda was an older lady with a charming southern accent who called us regularly in those early days before the Internet had really caught on. After establishing our target price range she religiously sent us clippings of home listings and compiled a home search strategy in anticipation of our long awaited house hunting trip.

Finally, the day of our departure arrived. The company spared no expense; it was the boom time of the "excessive 80s" and "expense management" had not yet made it onto the list of approved corporate buzzwords. Our company

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