by Skylar Majesta King

Created on: March 15, 2009   Last Updated: May 22, 2009

Trying to help someone lose weight? Before you begin, keep the following in mind: examine your own motives, expectations, and understanding of human behavior. Whether a person succeeds or fails to take action or make changes will ultimately be decided upon by that person, himself or herself. That is why as much as a support person or persons can help an individual make desired change, a person may actually succeed in spite of not having another individual's support.

It is also why an individual with significant money and professional advice, as well as support and resources from many family members and friends, can still fail. Also, if one's expectations are based more on personal desires rather than on the best interests of the individual involved, the person who tried to help may end up feeling disappointed, frustrated, and even angry. Additionally, if someone wants another person to change and that person does not appear to be changing fast enough, that someone may have overlooked the fact that people do not always change quickly. Or the person who tried to help may not have considered how difficult it can be to change habits that have developed over long periods of time or how human nature tends to hold on to old, predictable behavior and consequences, no matter how undesirable or damaging, rather than adopt new and less familiar habits with unknown consequences.

But assuming that one's motives, expectations, and understanding of human nature are appropriate, there is much one can do to help another individual lose weight. Assistance can be provided by providing empathy, motivation, and resources to the extent that the individual requires or will allow.

Here are some tips:

1) Make certain that the person wants your help rather than just assume this. You may ask directly by offering your help or suggesting various solutions, assistance, or resources as opportunities present themselves.

2) Offer assistance using a partnership model. Even if you are a professional or expert in the weight loss field, unless the individual is paying you for your advice, you will be in the best position to help if you can provide assistance without promoting the perception that you are somehow special or superior, have all the answers, or do not need to include him or her as an active participant in the weight loss process. This also allows the individual to feel respected, responsible for his progress and success, and more willing to cooperate.

3) Actively listen and listen

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