by Dorothy M Neddermeyer

Created on: March 15, 2009   Last Updated: December 17, 2009

Following on the heels of other notorious perpetrators of financial fraud - Bernard Ebbers, former CEO of WorldCom; Kenneth Lay, former Chairman, Enron Corp; Jeffrey Skilling, former CEO, Enron Corp; and Ivan Boesky, a prominent Wall Street arbitrageur, who amassed a fortune based on tips received from corporate insiders - Bernard L. Madoff pled guilty on March 12, 2009 in a New York City federal court to a Ponzi scheme that robbed thousands of investors of their life savings. In November 2008, Madoff had told 4,800 investors their accounts held $64.8 billion, according to court papers filed in New York City federal court.

Several media reporters have pondered what prompts someone to do such a thing. The answer is both simple and profound.

Boys are indoctrinated and rewarded that to be valued they need to achieve and even be heroes.' Boys are indoctrinated to feel more comfortable scheming and testing out where the edge of the law is at home and in the community. In my practice I often hear parents say, "I never set a curfew for my son, because I know the girls' parents set a curfew and boys are less likely to stay out longer than the girls." The unspoken message is "Boys don't need limits." And for boys, the consequences of unacceptable behavior are less harsh than for girls. Unacceptable behavior in girls often leads to tangible negative consequencessuspension of allowance or privileges, being grounded or required to perform taskswhile the negative consequence for a boy is often merely, a talking to.' Thus, boys get the message that scheming and flaunting limits is acceptableor at least, there is little price to pay.

Without limits, appropriate impulse controls do not develop. Children look for limits, and unless they find them, they continue to push, becoming anxious when there seems to be no end to how far they can go. When a parent fails to set limits, the child feels unimportant and unloved. Limits and negative consequences for breaching them, on the other hand, reassure children that they are noticed and that someone cares.

Lack of limits or of enforcement of limits, coupled with the parental and societal message that males in order to be full fledged men need to be heroes' and achieve success, puts tremendous pressure on men to scheme and push the limits in order to be valued. Those who manipulate to get what they want believe they are duty bound to perform, produce and create bigger and bigger acts of heroism' to feel valued and powerful, as well as

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