by Ann Hinds

Created on: March 15, 2009   Last Updated: August 22, 2009

He has started introducing me to people as his mom. I am his grandmother. We did adopt him so he is right either way. This is our new family and we have been over this ground repeatedly. Grandparents parenting their grandchildren is now a common family unit. The whole issue of family unit is evolving. While it is a two-parent family, there is the obvious absence of the parents in the middle.

We are older and he knows it. "Grandma, you're old", he says. "Yes, I am but I can still beat you at board games", I reply. These are the new dynamics. We do not look like his friend's parents. I can still play catch, but I make him chase the ball when he makes a bad throw.

There are times when it would be great just to be the grandma. We have those moments, certainly when he wants to snuggle. I think I hold him closer because he is my baby's baby. However, there are moments when we have to consider every issue. We are the parents, too, and that prevents us from allowing some behaviors. What a grandparent might overlook is not a choice for us. As the parent, we are required to teach good behavior. We do not let him eat candy and we enforce homework.

We are at baseball practice twice a week, are very involved in his school and our life is now focused on his well-being. We encourage baseball because that is his favorite thing to do. Our favorite thing to do is travel, but it has been curtailed because there are baseball games and school. What we have given up in travel we have gained in doing the things that youngsters do.

We do not get the chance to sit around and review, in detail, each new body ache. Believe me; I would like newer body parts. There are issues that loom on the horizon and we are set on a course to deal with them before they become even bigger.

"Why don't I live with my parents", he asks. Right now, he is satisfied with "because they are not able to care for you". If he needs more detail, we have the option of picking up the phone and letting either of his parents explain. I will not be the one to tell him why his mom was in jail. His parents are responsible for those answers. My job are the day-to-day issues and those I accept willingly.

He is more fun than people realize. Our friends feel sorry for us when they are off to do something fun that we cannot participate in. They do not see the moment-to-moment things that happen on a daily basis that make us grin. Now that he is 8 years old, he has some very definite opinions that he is not afraid to share. Sometimes, he is right on.

Grandparents parenting grandchildren is not for the faint at heart. It is a full-time job and you cannot send them home to anyone. They are already at the only other place that children like to be and that is at Grandma's house.

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