by Joseph Wardy

Created on: March 15, 2009

In his Academy Award performance as gay activist Harvey Milk. Sean Penn said, " We got to give them hope". This comment was originally said sometime during the 70's decade. The good news for the gay community: Milk's work started to place gay rights on the map toward equality. Hopefully, in our lifetime we will see the legislation of same sex marriages.

Through the work of Milk and other activists educating the public, gay rights has have made great progress. Conversely, the rights of the trangendered have lagged behind. Why? Unlike the gay community, the transgendered community has not challenged the status quo with any form of activism. This includes the public and most importantly the parents of transgendered children.

I am deeply concerned about the lack of education of the parents of transgenderd children. I speak of this concern based on my experiences and the experiences of others. Here is what I mean:

I am a 62 year old transsexual who discovered my true gender identity at the age of 60. As I work with other transsexuals in two support groups. many of my fellow transsexuals experienced the same fate. In my father's generation, transsexuals went to their grave thinking they were some kind of deviant. Because there has been minor advances through the work of transsexual pioneer Harry Benjamin, there has been a little light at the end of the tunnel of despair.

But to save the transgendered kids from a life of needless suffering, we must educate the parents so that kids get the support and loving environment from home to meet rejection and ridicule from society. Here is my specific experience: When diagnosed two years ago, the therapist said I was an " atypical transsexual". Here, "atypical" means discovery of my condition at the late age of 60. This late discovery is a result of the shame built in from parental fear of my condition that took a lifetime to unravel. And this is not different from others who discovered so late in life.

This condition is not a choice and its root begin in the womb. Understanding parents can get the help of professionals so their child can be guided properly and with the loving support they need. The shame my generation experienced is deeper than the emotion of guilt as guilt focus on what we did or did not do and is a byproduct of the ego. Shame is the most destructive of emotions as it harbors itself as to who we are resulting in a severe loss of self esteem.

As a writer and speaker, I wish to find a way to get the word out to parents and to the public about the truth of what this condition is about. Do you have an idea or strategy that can begin this process. As Harvey Milk said, " we got to give them hope"!

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