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In many cases, medical science is capable of finding out if a child is going to be born with special needs. If this is an option, then this is a good opportunity to talk to children and tell them his or her new brother or sister will be in need of special care. Tell the children what will be wrong with his or her new sibling; even young children are able to understand if explained properly. However, if a child with special needs develops problems later, it is still important to help your children adjust to the extra work that their special needs sibling will need from his or her parents, siblings, and extended family.

Do not make it uncomfortable for questions to be asked about their sibling's condition. Do not alienate the child with special needs from his or her siblings and peers. Do not fear or show fear that sibling will harm his or her special needs sibling. Always be honest with your children about his or her sibling's condition. Teach your children how to respect his or her sibling's special needs, and always tell your children how special they are for having such a special sister or brother.

Assure your children you love them as much as always. However, his or her new brother or sister will need extra care and it would be nice if they were able to help when the new baby comes. Give your children age appropriate tasks to do so he or she will feel involved instead of neglected or left out. Practice them before the new baby arrives so the child feels comfortable with his or her new chore and understands when the chore will be needed, and understand the importance of his or her role in helping to care for his or her new sibling.

Communicate with your children; allow them to understand what is wrong with his or her new sibling. Encourage you children to have friends over and allow your child to feel comfortable talking about his or her sibling's condition. Instill pride in your child for having a brother or sister with special needs. Make it fun for your child to include his or her sibling with special needs in activities, with other friends, or one on one.

Being open with your children about their siblings condition, teaching your children to treat his or her special needs sibling with respect and including him or her in general activities is the best way to teach your child to live with a sibling with special needs. Keep your child engaged with the care, no matter how small, of his or her special needs sibling. In doing so, this will create a lifelong bond between siblings based on love and respect.

Learn more about this author, Mary Tyrer.
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