by Jo Ann Wentzel

Created on: March 14, 2009

I've given birth to two kids and parented dozens of others in various capacities, but nothing prepared me for my role as grandmom.

A grandmom must go beyond what moms have time to do. We must be all that parents cannot be. We must be the soft side of the issue when it is unimportant, but the hard line on values. If moms cannot find ways to stay home with their children, I believe grandparents should help. We can provide a valuable service to parents whether or not they stay at home.

Grandmoms do more than pass out homemade cookies nowadays; they provide role models for fitness, creativity, and thrift. To our grandkids we must be cool adults; to their parents we must be supportive allies. Balancing this act is tough, but experience has a way of seeing you through. Parents need a pat on the back for a job well done and reassurance that you approve of their parenting style which invariably is different from your own. Kids need to feel that "Grandparentville" is a safe town, a haven where they can just be themselves.

When parents who must work come home, they are tired. Often, they have been laboring at a job they dislike; they feel guilty for leaving their kids, and they are emotionally drained from the stress of trying to please the world. Granted, there are those moms who enjoy working outside the home, but even then, the uncertainty puts pressure on them. If career oriented, the pressure may be to succeed at all costs. Sometimes, the cost is family life. Either way, these folks are not ready for the role of "superparent." That is where it would be nice to go back to the extended family where grandparents lived in the same home. Grandparents could take up the slack and at least give parents a moment to catch their breath before they slip back into their parent role. I'm sure not suggesting grandparents be thought of as built-in-babysitters, nor am I suggesting taking away the responsibility of parenting from where it rightly belongs. I am suggesting occasionally using grandparents or a substitute for the extra support and help that older folks can give. In doing so, you may even brighten up an older person's day.

Once a year, my daughter and her husband take a snowmobiling trip up north. I watch her two boys for five days. My grandsons are starting to outgrow it, but in past years, grandmom spent those entire five days entertaining them. We set up a schedule and posted it on the fridge. We divided each hour or so into various projects. We read, played board games,

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