by Kimberly Devine

Created on: March 14, 2009

STANDARD There are 28 definitions of this simple word at Dictionary.com. Number 26 is: "manual; not electric or automatic: (example) standard transmission". A week before my driving test, our car died. If I wanted to take the test, I'd have to learn how to drive my grandparents '81 Dodge Omni, standard transmission.

Driving standard, like the word itself, is simple. However, if the person teaching you how learned while drunk, it is not an easily achieved feat. If you live in an eroded plateau (a hilly area formed by lines of glaciers moving south during the ice age), in an area of gravel roads, it is not an easily achieved feat.

Day one: Picking up my sister at her friend's house. The girl lived on a dirt hill nestled precariously between vineyards. The angle of the road off her driveway was no less than 30 degrees. Two hundred yards below her driveway, the road ended in a T-intersection with a lake on the other side. We were going up.

I stalled the car twice in the driveway, then backed out successfully to the road. Now, I faced up the hill in reverse, attempting to get into first gear. Thank goodness Dodge transmissions at that time were nearly indestructible. I shifted into first while sliding backwards, pressed the gas and stalled... continuing to slide.

Again I tried the impossible, and from the backseat I heard one of my sisters whimper to my mother, "Are we going to die?"

"Shut up!" I screeched in my teenage anxst. Breathing, I lifted my right foot quickly from the brake and pressed it carefully against the gas. Further down the hill, I gingerly removed my left foot. We made it all the way back up to the driveway before the car stalled again. The backward slide took over until I got my foot on the brake.

A high-pitched squeal absently passed my lips as I tried three more times. Muffled sobs escaped the backseat. My mother tried to calm everyone by calming the source of the fear. "Sweetie..."

"AAAaaghghghghg!" I screamed. "I can't drive this stupid car!" I yelled as the engine caught and started to roar forward. Now, this particular 4-speed was ready for second gear at fifteen miles an hour. However, this particular driver was not letting up on the gas until we hit a flat surface. Did I mention the three carloads that had gathered behind us, in fear for their lives as well? Fortunately, the engine was also indestructible.

Day two: Driving the back roads. My mother left my sisters at home and drove us to a flat area in the middle of nowhere. We switched seats

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