by Toni Anne

Created on: March 14, 2009

Having grown up in a fairly wealthy environment, it was a new and challenging experience to live on less than poverty level at the young age of 21. When I say "fairly wealthy" I don't mean rich. My grandparents were well off as far as money was concerned. I was privileged enough to have not wanted for anything. My personal experience certainly taught me how to appreciate what you have in this life and because of it, I have become the strong independent woman I am today.

My life changed drastically after the death of my first husband. To put it in simple terms, I was a mother at 18, a wife at 19, and a widow by 21 years of age. I had to mature very quickly in order to survive and provide for my child. Luckily for me, during my marriage, I had been attending a business college to make myself more marketable. I did graduate from high school, but it still wasn't enough to make ends meet for a family of three. Even if my husband hadn't passed away, at some point I would have had to help him financially. But now, I was on my own. One income household with two mouths to feed.

One of the first things I did was move back home with my parents. It was unfeasible to afford an apartment on my own until I could find a decent paying job. I paid enough rent to my parents to cover the extra electricity and water usage. I thought this was the right thing to do being they were also still raising my younger sister and brother.

I also had to find quality daycare at a reasonable price. I located a list of daycare providers from the Social Services office. Due to income guidelines, I didn't qualify for the assistance, but they were able to provide a list of qualified care givers in my area. This helped out immensely.

For clothes, I started browsing second hand shops and thrift stores. I managed to find really good, quality shoes and clothes for my 18 month old at better than low prices. There seemed to be an influx of brand named toddler shoes at the time, barely worn and some even with the price tag still attached. The Goodwill and Children's Hospital of the King's Daughters are two of the best in our area. The Salvation Army is another great source.

I also put my son's name on the Joy Fund roster that year for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Times were tight and I knew I wouldn't be able to afford gifts that year. These charitable foundations help those in need during these special times of the year by providing food, clothing, and gifts. I was amazed at the response we received. A full

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