by Ruth Woodhouse

Created on: January 27, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

I grew up as an only child, so I have no personal knowledge of the dynamics of sibling relationships. I always wished I had an older brother and a younger sister, but no doubt if I had, there would have been at least some sibling rivalry. I feel sure I would value having them to share special bonds and memories of childhood with though - especially now my Mum is gone.

Now I have two children of my own though and am very conscious of issues related to sibling interaction.

These two children do not fight at all. That may sound unbelievable to you - but there is a sad reason for this fact. Our daughter, who is nearly 9 years old, is profoundly disabled. She is totally helpless and cannot speak. She is our little angel. She and her brother, who is 5 and a half absolutely adore each other. He is so wonderful with her and we receive so much joy from watching the ways they relate to each other. He brightens her world so much.

Nevertheless, our boy can be as naughty and defiant as the average little boy - so he gets into trouble quite often. Meanwhile our little girl has never given us reason to so much as utter a cross word. How does this make him feel? I sometimes wonder does he resent the fact that his sister is never in our bad books? I hope he doesn't think we love her more than him. I hope he understands in his heart of hearts. He's just a child though after all is said and done - and children can misinterpret so much when it comes to the way their parents relate to them and their siblings. Often they don't understand such things until they are grown up.

Because our daughter is totally immobile and helpless she needs lots of extra attention too. She can do nothing to entertain herself either. So I have always given her a lot of time on my lap, where she just loves to sit and watch TV as well as to listen to stories I read the children or while I sing - or just while she watches the computer screensaver, which has thousands of beautiful pictures on it. This time she spends on my lap undoubtedly gives more richness to her life than anything. She has always been the snuggliest little girl.

Our little boy, however, was never a cuddly baby. He was always a wriggler and just never molded to my body the way my little girl always has. So for one reason and another, it's our daughter who's always had lots of hands-on attention from me, while my little boy has had considerably less.

Yes, he still gets loads of attention from both his Mummy and his Daddy. He's always in our

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>