by Taylor Huffman

Created on: March 13, 2009   Last Updated: March 14, 2009

Ah, Romance.

What every woman desires; what every man has never fully been able to comprehend.

Why?

Sadly, we live our lives by prescription, consigned to a game-playing culture that fosters within us the notion that our lives are as ridiculous as television drama. Fortunately, they aren't.

We need only to let go of our anxieties when it comes to romance. The act of being romantic simply entails artfully displaying the emotions and sentiments you already feel, and yet the barrier between what we feel and what we are compelled to convey has been thickened by a lack of emotional honesty.

If you are with a woman (or man), or are in pursuit of one, clearly you have some intense emotional backdrop that supports your desire, be it based on love or lust. Thus, to answer the question "how can I be romantic," you need first to ask the question "how clearly and honestly am I willing to display my feelings?" You don't need to go to great lengths concocting complicated schemes of seduction and attraction; there is no need to be fooled by the prevailing social culture that encourages us to decide what we want internally, then devise a scheme to actualize it externally. What we desire internally should be directly related to how we go about accomplishing those things on the surface.

When you feel that something she (or he) did was adorable - express that. When, during one particular moment, for one particular reason or another, you find yourself rendered breathless beyond ordinary by your target - say it. More importantly, say why. Because being romantic isn't about coordinating flower deliveries or expensive dinner reservations. Romance is the vehicle by which we show another the level we intend to connect with them on, and our level of commitment to the significance and duration of that connection. Show that, and you have not only achieved your goal of romanticism, but of a healthy relationship.

And remember, we begin treading dangerous water when we are not honest with ourselves. While being romantic requires a clear, bull-free line of communication connected between what you feel and what you show, it is more important that you be honest with yourself about what you feel. When you falsify your feelings to yourself and effectively intensify their portrayal, you do damage to both yourself and the poor gal (or guy) you string along. It is absolutely important to be honest in both realms, and doing so will go a long way in producing a romantic pairing based on truth - which, believe me, is far better for our sanity and health.

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