by N. A. Green

Created on: March 13, 2009

When it comes to infidelity, almost everyone has a different definition and standard of what they consider to be cheating. The matter of "cyber-cheating" is even harder to determine. In order to do so, one must first ask questions and set boundaries in their relationship.

What Counts As Cheating?

Ask yourself this question: What activities count as cheating to me? Would you be upset if you saw your partner flirting with someone else? Would it bother you to the point of confronting them, or would you let it slide? Would it be enough to make you want to leave? How about kissing? Is kissing a severe enough infidelity to make you end your relationship? I am sure it would bother most people to see their loved one kissing another, but would it damage your relationship to the point of no return, or could you work through it by communicating honestly and openly? Then there's sex. I think for most people, finding out that your lover has had sexual relations with someone other than yourself is a deal-breaker. A lot of couples can go through counseling and eventually learn to forgive their spouse for a sexual affair, but for many that's the end of the road. No one can truly say for certain how they would react in a situation like this until it happens, but it's important to get a clear understanding of what each of you consider to be cheating.

Emotional Infidelity

Once you have defined physical infidelity in regards to your relationship, now comes the tricky part: emotional infidelity. Emotional affairs can be painful and damaging to a relationship. Often they are far more unforgivable than affairs that are of a strictly physical nature. For many, sexual infidelity is "just sex" where emotional affairs require an investment of time, money and often, love. Sometimes these extramarital affairs can result in children, making it even more difficult to deal with or forgive. Where do you draw the line when it comes to relationships outside of your marriage? Would you be jealous if your better half had a close friend of the gender they were attracted to? Would you feel threatened, or would you be accepting of the friendship? Would you be able to forgive your partner if they openly admitted to you that they were having feelings for that person, or would you cut your losses and leave?

Boundaries

Boundaries are a normal and essential part of any healthy relationship. Once you have decided what you consider to be an infidelity, it's important that you share your feelings with your partner.

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