by Fiona Mcgrath

Created on: March 13, 2009

Oh my God...learning to drive was one of the most hideous and depressing ongoing episodes of my life. My father was a driving instructor during this period and basically that was the root of the problem. As a perfectionist my father was rather disinclined to comprehend how anyone could possibly be incapable of following his clipped and precise instructions. I cannot remember my first driving lesson with my father and this is probably something to do with the seemingly infinite stretch of time between this first earth-shattering moment and finally the surreal day the driving examiner said "you've passed, now go away and stop being so useless...". Well that is not exactly what he said but it is quite possibly what he was thinking. My local community had considered making that day into a public holiday with parades, clowns and dancing girls...again perhaps that's what I felt like on that wonderful day but in reality the universe did not even take one bit of notice of this exceptional moment. However for me one of the best days of my life is the day I passed my test. The elation I experienced when I realised that the fight was over was overwhelming. No more dread, no more shame, no more public transport!

On one driving lesson with my father I was making my rather cautious approach towards a road junction when I was suddenly struck by an alarming thought, "how does one know which way round the steering wheel should be". This thoroughly ludicrous question rapidly sparked into a fully fledged panic. I swore rather aggressively and demanded my father answer this driving query whilst my hands took on a life of their own, flying off the wheel as though it had become red hot. It all seemed perfectly logical in my diminished driving brain. Rather than being alarmed that we were hurtling towards a road sign and there was about to be a big old prang he hurled himself round in his is seat and cried, "what sort of language is that for a young lady to come out with?" Fortunately I regained my cool and managed to steer the car away from the looming road sign.

I cried quite a lot on my driving lessons with my father. I think it took me back to the times when he attempted to help me with my maths homework and could not fathom my ineptitude with numbers. Some people thrive under pressure but personally I find my ability to think in a straight line never mind drive in one becomes a near impossibility. We both eventually accepted that it would perhaps be a good manoeuvre to end the

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