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Love and happiness are the two most sought after emotional traits pursued by humans. But where love is universally viewed to be dependent upon interaction with another individual, happiness can be achieved by developing a loving relationship with oneself. While most people prefer sharing the emotion of love in the context of relationships, emotional interaction with others does not guarantee that a person will be happy.

Being single and happy is a personal statement of self satisfaction. It is achieved only through the pursuit of personal goals and interests, and by becoming sincerely content in the direction of one's individual development. It comes with the trial and error of facing life's challenges head on, and learning from the inevitable mistakes. It breeds personal responsibility, enhanced problem solving abilities, greater self awareness, and improved self-esteem.

Essentially, learning to find happiness while being single strengthens those attributes necessary to being happy in a relationship. It allows a person to enter a relationship with others better equipped to offer something to the relationship. It enables one to give of themselves, as well as receive from others, love in its purest and most unconditional form without the need of feeling inadequate or undeserving. It teaches us to embrace our strengths, and our shortcomings, as well as the strengths and shortcomings of others.

Achieving happiness while being single is a personal journey, but it can be challenging. Most people become dependent upon nurturing from others at the moment of birth. From that early age we are fed, held, clothed, and comforted, and consequently, an association is established which equates happiness with our interaction to others. At some point, that association is transferred from parental nurturing to the need for social acceptance, and eventually progresses to associating emotional happiness to being fulfilled through outside sources.

Such individuals are weaned from parental relationships, to social relationships, to emotionally intimate relationships without a break for self discovery. And though some interests are developed throughout the process, those interests do not provide the emotional gratification to substantiate them through periods spent alone. In public they become social butterflies, masking any personal ineptness by over accentuating what they feel are their best qualities. These are people who need to be in relationships, because they equate having a partner with being complete.

For those capable of being single and happy, life can be fulfilling without the need for intimate relationships. They find life's balance within themselves, and in their associations with the people with whom they share their existence. It isn't that they aren't open to intimacy, but they are less likely to sacrifice personal standards for the sake of an unhealthy union. For them, it's more important to surround themselves with others who are genuinely happy, than to be in a relationship and be unhappy.

Learn more about this author, Terry Marsh.
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