by Claire Kernaghan

Created on: March 12, 2009

Snore White

Once upon a time, two years ago, a rich lady, whom we shall refer to as the rich lady, sat at her office desk, playing on her computer.
"Oh, I wish I had a child." As she was dreaming she broke a nail and 3 teardrops fell on to the white joystick.

"How lovely my baby would be if she had red lips as red as red, and skin as white as white, and hair as black as black." thought the rich lady to herself.

Later on that day the rich lady had a baby girl and named her SNORE WHITE. Snore White was as beautiful as the rich lady hoped she would be, her only shortcoming was that she snored from time to time.

Then, alas, the rich lady suddenly became very ill. When Snore White was a still little girl her mother died. The rich man, Snore White's father, was sad and lonely for many hours after the death of the rich lady, his wife.

One day, 3 days later, the rich man, who was the king, wed a very ugly, but very vain lady. She hated Snore White. Her most favorite thing was a talking hairbrush. Every day after she washed her hair in Johnson's Kids Shampoo (smells fruity, very good for anyone hairy!) she would ask the hairbrush this question:

"Hairbrush, hairbrush, in my hand,
Who has the glossiest hair in the land?"

And every day, after day, after day, the brush would answer:

"Queenie, Queenie, I'm in your hand,
You are the fairest in the land."

Then as Snore White grew to maturity, alas, the magic hairbrush answered her question thus:

"Apples on a stick, make me sick,
Make my heart beat, two, forty-six.
Not because you're dirty, not because you're clean,
Just because you kiss the boys behind the magazine."

WELL, Evil Step Mother, who we shall refer to as the Evil Step Mother, knew immediately that Snore White had been using her shampoo.

She was very jealous of Snore White's beauty and she sent a mercenary soldier into the forest to kill Snore White and bring her heart back in a yogurt container.

But the soldier could not bring himself to shoot such a beauty. "I can not kill you SNORE WHITE even if it is the mother's orders and even if you snore. Run, run far away and never to return to your home.

Snore White tripped through the wilderness, (and fell on her face). She heard a strange noise off in the distance. In curiosity Snore White walked slowly toward the noise. Then out of the blue she stumbled across a group of seven very tall men, drinking beer and shouting at the TV yes, they were watching the footy. Snore White stood there in awe looking at seven tall people. The seven tall

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